Jesus Likes Purity ...

Alright ... it's time to get honest.  I'm 26 ... single ... and a virgin.  I have about a dozen books on relationships.  Some tell me to kiss dating goodbye and some just tell me to kiss (because any farther than that and I'm against God's will apparently).  And here I am, on my day off looking up what books are out for teens on a Christian store's website.  Scrolling thru about 5 pages, I realize that half of these books are about virginity ... another 25% are about dating in general.  

I have to say this because more and more I've become enamored by God's love for me.  And the more I understand His love for me and live in that, the less a priority finding a husband becomes.  But relationships are continually at the forefront.  It just comes down to which relationship takes top priority.  And it always will come down to which relationship makes us feel most loved.    

I've always been  a rule follower.  The one sex talk my mom and I had, I was 12 and we were watching Oprah and they said something about sex.  My mom looked at me and said, "No sex until you're married Leanne, alright?"  I said, "Ok mom".  And that was it.  So it was kind of one of those rules my mom set in my life.  But as life went on, I got older, and guys became a lot more interesting.  I started to think about "When I get married" and start looking for a potential man that I could even remotely spend large amounts of time with, following the rules only takes you so far.  Sooner or later, life stops being about rules and becomes all about the relationships.

Yet we function out of "fear mode" when it comes to the next generation.  Instead of empowering them in God's love and letting that be what leads them, we still "scare the hell out of them" by telling them what's right and wrong and why it's right or wrong.  And they begin to believe love is conditional.  And that view becomes their view of all relationships ... including their relationship with God.  And if we're not pure, God must not love us as much.  I mean,  yea, there's grace and forgiveness when I repent, but He doesn't love me as much as Virgin Leanne.  Yes, I just called myself Virgin Leanne.  But what if we understood God's unconditional, unchanging, relentless, and overwhelming love in such a way that we know our worth and value in Him.   And that relationship and that love taught us how to treasure our bodies.  Don't give us 7 steps to being a bride in white or the 5 warning signs of a relationship gone wrong.  Because when our love relationship with God is what really matters, then won't we be wise ... won't we want to love Him back with our words, actions, thoughts ... all of us?

I feel like I've been watching a lot of "coming of age" movies.  A theme I've noticed is kids don't get interested in the whole "sex" thing until someone introduces them to a couple of the details ... and then curiosity gets the best of them and they have questions ... a lot of questions.  They answer those questions based on their worldview.  And what if their worldview was founded in GOD'S LOVE!

I work with students ... and I can tell the students that understand God's love for them.  Their view on dating is different.  They haven't kissed dating goodbye and they're not kissing everyone.  

They've found a third way.  They've found Agape Love.  And nothing beats Agape.  

Nothing Short of Thankful ...

It's been a crazy summer.  I haven't been this busy since traveling with SRT in college.  But here's what the summer held from June 20-Aug. 20 .... 7 days in Nassau, Bahamas (HS Missions); 5 Days in Washington, D.C. (DCLA Conference); 7 Days in Panama City, FL (HS Camp); 3 Weeks in Hoima, Uganda (Missions).  Needless to say, I haven't had much time at home.  But I've taken the week off work and am finally able to debrief and debunk my brain.

Each trip was unique and new in the experiences and situations and community I was a part of.  There's too much for me to tell ... so much that I can't even put it all into words.  So here's some highlights.

Nassau, Bahamas

June 20-27, 2009

We took 23 high school students to work with Haitian refugees in Nassau.  A lot of time was spent building relationships with the local children and running a VBS.  It was a cool experience ... but wasn't the life-changing moment of the trip.  The life-changing moment for me was when I pulled up to a small community of the sick caring for the sick because no one will go there.  It was a former leper colony that has turned into an AIDS Colony (the new leprosy to them).  Each resident did whatever they could to make sure all members of the community are cared for.  Their rooms were about 5'x10'.  I met some residents and heard their story ... but there was one in particular that totally sticks out to me.  Miss Moxie!  Miss moxie is extremely frail and is unable to walk, so she spend her days sitting on her bed, reading Scripture, and talking to visitors.  I could barely speak as she praised God for every day she has and told us how thrilled and grateful she was for each breath she takes.  After we prayed with her, I walked out and was told Miss Moxie's story.  She was in Florida visiting some family members when she got into a car accident that put her into a coma for 2 months.  During that time, she got a blood transfusion that infected her with AIDS.  She talked about forgiveness and how much she loves God and how confident she is of His love for her.  I've never been so humbled in my life.

DCLA Conference

July 9-13, 2009

Mark led a daily Lab Room with two of our students and I got to go as moral support and tech guru.  We had about 400 students and leaders in our room every morning.  We got to bond with the circle leaders over the 4 days and had a total blast with our Lab!  The amazing, defining time I had was a late night get together with some of the top people in Youth Specialties.  I got to spend time talking about what it is to be a woman in ministry.  I walked away from that gathering feeling so encouraged about the ways God is using me.

BigStuf - PCB, FL

July 18-24, 2009

It was a wild and crazy week with The Skit Guys, Casey Darnell, Stuart Hall, and Jared Herd.  It was one thing after another from the start of the bus ride that made me just want to be home.  Frustrations were building and consequences were getting heavier.  But within 24 hours, God completely rocked our world!  After the final evening session, Jamie led our team down to the beach and had us kneel in the sand as we looked out at the ocean lit by the moonlight.  As we sat there, Jamie grabbed me and said "This may seem looney but just follow my lead".  So we started to walk into the water with one of our students.  Right there we had a beautiful baptism ... which led to another ... and another.  We spent about an hour in the water baptizing 26 students ... 23 from our church, 3 from other churches.  It was one of the most beautiful and special times I've ever had with students.  

Encounter Uganda Update to come in a few days ... I'm exhausted.  But hold on to your seats ... there's some good stuff coming up!

Oh How He Loves Us So ...

Wow, it's been a crazy past 2 weeks.  Even just the past 24 hours have been a whirlwind.  

On June 7, my beautiful little niece, Cassidy Marie, was born.  She is absolutely amazing and I can't get the smile off my face when I think about her ... I don't think I've ever prayed so earnestly for anyone than this little girl.

Yesterday Zach and I decided it would be a good idea to drive to Erie to see the comedian Brian Regan ... and it was a great idea!  We had a blast!!!  I also had a crazy day this morning, rushing downtown with Amanda to meet the Stanley Cup champs!  We got to get autographs, pictures, and touch the Stanley Cup.  Who can claim that??? (Besides the Pens of course)

But that hasn't been the amazing stuff of the past two weeks.  I've just continually been dwelling in God's love for us all.  

When my stress level rises, I have the tendency to take on too much, not take care of myself enough, and wear myself out to the point where I am just angry and irritated with the people I love.  But in the past 2 weeks when I reached my limit, God was so faithful to sustain me.  I may have had a mental breakdown or two ... but in the midst of those breakdowns, God revealed the beautiful community I have around me.  I have a boss that doesn't just say thanks, but he blesses me with things like Wii games to help calm me down.  I have dear friends that seem to have encouraging words to say at the perfect moment.  As Father's Day rolls around, God has helped me to celebrate my dad and the amazing man he was in my life in such a way that He is turning my mourning into dancing for the beauty of eternity.  The truth in His word has truly begun to dwell in my heart in such a way that it has opened my soul to seeing God in the big and little things when things get tough.

I've always been the one to take control ... and run out of my own strength .... and get frustrated when people didn't follow through or things didn't go my way.  But God has started to align my heart with His a little more that has opened me up to seeing Him no matter what happens.  It has changed my attitude and the way I approach things ... from meetings to spending time with friends to finances.  He's got it.  He creates, He gives, He takes, He blesses, He teaches, He disciplines .... HE LOVES.

I have fallen in love with the song "How He Loves Us" and it has kind of become my anthem because of the first verse and the truth that lies deep in the lyrics:

He is jealous for me 
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree 
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy 
When all of a sudden, I am unaware 

of these afflictions eclipsed by glory 
and I realize just how beautiful You are 

and how great your affections are for me. 
Oh, how He loves us so 

Let His love overcome your fears

His Love is Strong ...

So I showed up at my mom's house today to surprise her with flowers ... and she's not home.  Of course this is how my day is going.  Sooo .... I'm sitting on the couch watching VH1's Tough Love by myself and ready to take a nap.

This morning at church we dove into God's love for us.  I needed to hear what was shared this morning.  It wasn't even the words that Pastor Bruce shared necessarily.  But as the Scripture stared back at me throughout the sermon, God revealed some beautiful truths through it.  

James 1:17-18

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James says that God is the one who gives us every good and every perfect gift.  And I had to stop and think if I look for those good and perfect things.  Do I even understand what is good and perfect in my life.  And do I actively seek out the beautiful good and perfect things God is giving me?

He also says that God doesn't change .... He does not throw "evil" curveballs for funsies.  God's love for us is absolutely consistent.  Nothing I do can change His love.  

Verse 18 is absolutely beautiful and I don't think I would ever see the full beauty of it if Bruce didn't share the Jewish tradition that James is talking about here.  The words "chose" and "give" hold such strong value.  It's something that I've realized about relationships .... real love is choosing to love that person even when things get difficult and being willing to give of yourself so that the other person will be blessed and know they're loved.  Do you understand the fact that God chooses to give us eternal life?  His love is that beautiful.  And what about being a "kind of firstfruits"?  What do you think that means?  Because I had no idea.  But in the Jewish tradition, they would mark the "firstfruits" of the harvest with a reed and then collect them in an ornate basket, put the basket on an ox, and parade it through the streets so everyone can give thanks to God for what He gave.  He wraps a reed around us .... He takes special care of us and gives us beauty and good and perfection .... He shows us off in awe of what He made.  We are His.

Sometimes I forget that it is God's love for me that matters most.  He is my #1 love.  And when I compare myself to others, I am not seeing the good and perfect things God has given me.  And not seeing the beauty He has instilled in me.  And when I forget those things, I change who I am to try and fit someone else's mold.  And I realize I'm really unhappy when I do that because apparently it's not about fitting someone else's mold because the fact is I'll never be a fit.  It's about living out God's love for His creation with the specific way He has molded me ... no one else can love the way I do because I am a one-of-a-kind.  I am able to grow the Kingdom of God through my smile ... my laughter ... and my heart to share God's love.

Remember God's love today.  His love is strong.  His love is beautiful.  His love is number one.

Listen to Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong" today .... take a moment to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out.  Relish in the strength and dignity that are yours through your Creator's love.

Do You Remember the Time ...

So I just got home from youth group and I walk in to my mom watching American Idol.  Jamie Foxx was performing and my mom just kept talking about how talented he is.  And all I can flash back to is "Wanda" ... her big lips, crossed eyes, and big booty.  Wanda was Jamie's character on In Living Color  ....

Enjoy remembering the times before Jamie Foxx became a serious actor and take in the hilarity of who he is ...

Unbelievable ...

I am continually questioning the direction of our culture.

Last night was the Miss USA pageant.  During the Q&A, Miss California received a quite ironic question.  She pulled out the question by Judge #8, Perez Hilton that asked "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?"

Before I mention anything about her answer, let me tell you about Perez Hilton.  He has become "famous" by dishing disgusting gossip about celebrities and talking poorly about people.  He makes a mockery of any celebrity he can while furthering his own "fame" by partying with them later in the week.  Some hate him ... some love him.  How he became a judge for the Miss USA pageant raises enough questions.  What qualifications does he have that makes him eligible to judge one of the largest pageants of the nation?  He "judges" people for a living ... but in an absolutely shallow way.  

So here was how Miss California answered: "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman,"  "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."

You saw Perez Hilton's face turn to a look of hatred and you heard a mix of boos and applause from the live audience.  And now Perez Hilton is saying her answer to that question cost her the crown.  And today I checked his website and he tore her apart .... wrote terrible things about her, calling her a dumb -----.  Over one honest answer that in no way was blatantly offensive or derogatory.

I am just proud of her integrity.  I am thankful for her honesty. She is simply sharing her heart in front of the entire nation.  She didn't say she was disgusted by gay marriage or that she hopes it's completely outlawed.  She stated that her belief is that marriage is between a man and a woman.

I have to thank you, Carrie Prejean ... because you are a Miss USA because you're willing to go against the grain when push comes to shove.  And I'm sure you weren't the only "Miss" contestant to have that same belief.

How dare we shame this beautiful young woman for being honest when we dealt with Miss Teen South Carolina 2008 who couldn't tell you where Afghanistan was on a map.  Honesty vs. knowledge ... there's a difference.  

I think Perez needs to understand that he's not always right and that it's about learning a person's heart before judging them ... because he clearly judged her with her belief vs. his .... not her as a person.

I'm not sure if this all makes sense ... but in between phone calls, Dancing With the Stars, and Olive wanting to play ... my brain is everywhere.

What do you think about Miss California's answer and the media frenzy that has now ensued?

Gently Whispering Hope ...

Oh man, it's been forever since I've updated this thing.  Christmas and the general chaos of January quickly consumed me and I am just now starting to catch up on life.  

So what's been going on, you ask?  Well here's a quick run down of the month of January:

- Prepping for the Ski Trip and making it actually happen last weekend

- Making our huge dinner dance fundraiser happen (pray for it ... it's happening next Saturday!) so selling tickets, getting a team together to make it all happen, etc.

- Making the Mexico Missions trip happen ... January = advertising and accepting applications

So what does February hold?

- Steelers won the Superbowl ... in case you missed that :)

- Fundraiser actually happens .... woohoo!

- Mexico meetings start ... buying plane tickets, booking housing and vans, making sure everyone has passports, and paperwork paperwork paperwork!!!!

- Summer Camp Sign-Ups start flowing in

- Time to start raising support for my 2nd journey to Uganda in August

Anyway, enough business talk.  Time to share what God's been teaching me and all the ways He's been loving me.

(This is a side note but I just called one of the ladies on my fundraising team and she answered the phone with "Hello Leanne, I love you!" ... hearing that after I just typed the above statement ... God is Love :) )

I always claim to be a very secure person.  I know who God created me to be ... He built me to love HIm and love others.  Sometimes my passions and desires change, but at the core of who I am is Gal. 2:20 --- I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.  So yes, I am secure in that.  But sometimes the insecurities that have haunted us in the past rear their ugly heads.  And what happens when I get insecure ... I get quiet.  

For some reason, I sometimes forget how funny God created me to be ... and He has created me to love people through relationships ... and He has given me crazy amounts of wisdom and ideas.  And let's be honest, those are some great attributes God has blessed me with!  So why would I ever want to shy away from letting those be seen and used for His glory!!!  

Through it all, God has been gently whispering hope and love into my ear.  At moments when I feel insecure, I'll feel a hand on my shoulder or have one of the cool old ladies here at church tell me they wish they had my body or my laugh.  And for that, I am utterly grateful.  Because the things I so quickly get insecure about, God gently reminds me of how beautiful on the inside and outside I am.  

Talk about our Almighty God's faithfulness.  And it is true ... He takes care of the birds when they're hungry.  How much more will He care for us!

Listen this week .... listen for the ways God is gently whispering hope, love, peace, encouragement, wisdom, and blessings to you.

(Ski Trip pictures will soon fill this spot) ..... :)