The Love of Life

Living a Better Story ...

2010-07-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

I talk for a living. Part of what I do working in student ministry is counsel and talk. I plan activities that invite families and students to live a better story. But what happens in ministry is you get stuck behind a desk answering all the phone calls and e-mails about the inciting incidents you are making happen for everyone in your ministry and the things you have a passion for slowly fade into distant memories. My weekly schedule is filled with spending time with people … but it is all talk. I meet someone at a coffee shop, we talk for an hour, and then I drive to another coffee shop to do it all over again. But in the midst of talking with people, I am not actually living any sort of story. I’m just talking about a story.

And because I talk so much, I read much. So, I read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller (and if you know me at all, you know I read his books over and over again because it stirs my heart so much). I so resonate with Don’s description of his life prior to working on living an epic story because he found ways to get around it. I have an extensive collection of movies, buy new books every week, and have actually reached a point where situations happen in my daily life that I end up just referencing a movie because I don’t know any other way to respond. I talk about how I like camping and hiking, but I’ve gone ONCE in the past year. I talk about having a passion for the homeless in Pittsburgh yet am too exhausted to even make the effort to find a ministry to serve with. But what happens is everything we think about that is an action or a relationship turns into an idea. And to take it a step further … sometimes even God becomes just an idea. I am there and that scares me because it causes me to lack confidence, trust, and faith in the One that created the unique, fantastic me.

So I’ve been thinking what it looks like for me to live a better story because at the end of the day, 1) I can only lead students where I go and 2) I’m tired of the bind fear has on me. So there are a couple things I want to be proactive about during this chapter of my life.

1. Connect with God: There are certain days where God is just an idea to me. It actually burns my soul to admit that. I want to find instill some sacred rhythms that draw me to our Father that overflow to serving others. I know the passions God has laid on my heart but when I think of Him as an idea, it’s easy to make those passions “good ideas” too. Meanwhile, my passion for seeing a mentoring ministry for teen girls and a coffee and wine bar with a missions focus just linger in the back of my mind, depth of my soul, and is the ache I get in my stomach every now and then when I think of what God has for me.

2. Connect with Creation: I talk about how much I love the outdoors yet I never am outside. So, with that confession, I want to meet God in His creation. I’m not sure what that means … if it means hiking, camping, bike riding, gardening, etc. But there is a miracle and mystery in how God created this earth and everything that surrounds us and I want to know more about it. I want to truly give thanks to God for the land (because I rarely think of it) and I want to be able to do so with dirt in my fingernails.

3. Connect with People: I’ve been really working on community. I’m a single 26 year old that has just started to build meaningful relationships in her life. So in that, I want to include people in my adventure and be included in theirs. As I live a better story, I want to challenge and push myself to encourage others to do the same. Because when we live life together and don’t just talk about it, it opens up a whole new level of depth in relationships that God meant to be there!

Don was nice enough to put together a little conference just about living a better story. And let’s be honest … a couple days away from the e-mails and phone calls helps a youth pastor digest their own story before placing themselves in others’ stories. Even better, Don has a contest to win a free trip to Portland for the conference. Hence the focus of this blog post. But there are a few reasons why this conference is important to me.

It’s not about ministry … it’s about my life, which is more important than any ministry philosophy I could learn.
I need to be encouraged that although it may be hard and draining and scary, that is the point! I will need to learn how to plan for the future and how to rely on the Holy Spirit to be my counselor and my comforter as I step into the unknown and uncomfortable.
I already have my friend picked out … we graduated from college together and are both struggling with our stories as adventurous and epical.
Right now, where I am in my life, I am not allowing myself time (nor money) to work on my own life. Please Don … force me to do so by sending me to Portland!!!!

Buy his books, listen to how the Holy Spirit speaks, do something about what challenges you, and live a better story.

LIVING A BETTER STORY CONFERENCE - Sept. 26-27, 2010 Portland Oregon

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Getting Your Next Fix ...

2009-12-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

This morning started out with the entire city of Pittsburgh covered in a thin layer of ice making the roads unbearable to drive on. The best part was that my car handled the roads beautifully ... I was absolutely honored to own a Subaru this morning while getting to church super on-time!

Although church services were small for us, we had an amazing morning that both challenged and encouraged me. Mark preached about the joy that comes only from knowing Christ. While talking about joy, we read Ephesians 5:18-20:

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. ¹⁹Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Some conservatives keep their focus on the "Do not" part. Mark said something beautiful, "Drunkenness is a cheap substitution for joy." And when you read Eph. 5:18, you see that you can replace the word wine with anything. We can get drunk on alcohol ... on relationships ... on possessions. We get drunk on the things that give us that short moment of happiness. But it doesn't take long for the happiness to drift away and we need another fix.

For those that have met me after 2006, you don't know my whole story. After college, I spent two years struggling with alcoholism. This mainly came from a complete void and emptiness about anything and everything in my life. There was not one thing that I counted as a blessing and I was angry at God over a junkload of stuff happening in my life at the time. So I tried to find joy in everything but God. I turned to alcohol ... the bar scene ... the men ... all of it. It was the most empty I've ever felt in my life. I knew I was missing the point. I knew that I would get the same result with every drink .... nothing. But each drink "got me thru the night". And each man gave me attention for a brief moment. It lasted but a breath.

Sept. 2006 I returned home from Europe and made a vow .... I would not have a single drink for 9 months. In those months, I lost friends, a social life, and a lot of attention. But I also rediscovered how much my Creator loves me. And 6 months into that Drink-Free movement, we discovered my dad's lung cancer. And thanks to my stubbornness and God's great love, I didn't turn to alcohol to make me "happy" in a crud situation. But instead God gave me peace like I had never experienced. He took me to Africa and showed me true selflessness. He put me in full-time ministry while healing my "burnt by the church" wounds. He taught me how to be joy for those around me because some of the people I love don't know Jesus the same way I do. God made me strong during a time I could have been so weak and vulnerable.

Being filled with the Spirit (that is present perfect ... so continually being filled) .... that is what leads us to a life of love. The allows us to be light in the darkness. That changes the way we look at everything.

What are your cheap substitutions? Just take a moment to think about that and ask yourself, "Has the result ever changed?"

Realize that Eph. 5:18 isn't just saying drinking is bad. It is showing the contrast between the lies of this world and the best God has for us. We're all looking for true joy .... some of us just haven't found Him yet.

Like C.S. Lewis said, "You can find happiness in a beer, but true joy is only found thru a right relationship with God."

To be right or left ...

2009-12-03T07:46:00.001-08:00

:::Disclaimer ... I hope you pick up on my sarcasm where appropriate. :::

I've read about this before .... Conservapedia.com "The trustworthy encyclopedia". To combat all the "crazy" references and things submitted to Wikipedia.com every day, one man decided to revolt and start his own encyclopedia that is clearly more trustworthy than another encyclopedia. He sees one as liberal and so he pushes back with the exact same thing but conservative. He even has a list of "Conservapedia Commandments" that must be followed or your account can be deleted. It's apparent that this man is a Christian because you can't use certain terms that are readily used in the atheistic community.

Now this Conservapedia Man is on a mission to rewrite the Bible without all the "liberal hidden messages they've snuck in after all these years". Because apparently he believes the liberal interpretation of Jesus makes him out to be "merely more than a social worker." So instead of trusting those that specialize in dead-ancient languages and biblical studies translate Scripture, he wants to let you and me do it. Something about that just doesn't seem right to me because I haven't brushed up on my Aramaic and Hebrew lately.

Here is a quote from their About page: "Conservapedia is a clean and concise resource for those seeking the truth. We do not allow liberal bias to deceive and distort here." So they put limitations on what information goes on their pages (which is smart and I respect) but completely deny that any "liberal" thought could be biblical or true.

But I think Conservapedia Man is forgetting something about Jesus. Jesus wasn't conservative ... and he wasn't liberal. Jesus had a third way ... a sacred way ... in which he approached everything and everyone. He didn't box in what he did by the Pharisees, Jewish law, or Roman law. But he didn't rebel as an anarachist. But he changed lives and continually elevated conversations and situations to a sacred realm. It wasn't always about following the law because people get lost in the law and forget about God. But it's not all mushy either because faith without works is dead.

The Christian sub-culture has a tendency to this though. Culture releases something and it's a huge hit/trend and so the Christian sub-culture pushes back with something the exact opposite ... or the exact same and just tagging Jesus onto the end of it. We forget that God gave us the creativity to come up with new ideas and to be able to approach culture in a third way because we are his ambassadors. We are his witnesses to bring the story of God's redemption for mankind thru Jesus Christ to everyone. The Christian bubble isn't filled with a bunch of little minnions. We're smart. We have creative ideas that we didn't get off the popularity of Harry Potter. We have a creative eye to design t-shirts that aren't just the Reese's cups reworked to read "Jesus" .... WE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN US MINDS THAT THINK CREATIVELY.

Let us not forget the way of Jesus.

Nothing Short of Thankful ...

2009-08-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy summer. I haven't been this busy since traveling with SRT in college. But here's what the summer held from June 20-Aug. 20 .... 7 days in Nassau, Bahamas (HS Missions); 5 Days in Washington, D.C. (DCLA Conference); 7 Days in Panama City, FL (HS Camp); 3 Weeks in Hoima, Uganda (Missions). Needless to say, I haven't had much time at home. But I've taken the week off work and am finally able to debrief and debunk my brain.

Each trip was unique and new in the experiences and situations and community I was a part of. There's too much for me to tell ... so much that I can't even put it all into words. So here's some highlights.

Nassau, Bahamas

June 20-27, 2009

We took 23 high school students to work with Haitian refugees in Nassau. A lot of time was spent building relationships with the local children and running a VBS. It was a cool experience ... but wasn't the life-changing moment of the trip. The life-changing moment for me was when I pulled up to a small community of the sick caring for the sick because no one will go there. It was a former leper colony that has turned into an AIDS Colony (the new leprosy to them). Each resident did whatever they could to make sure all members of the community are cared for. Their rooms were about 5'x10'. I met some residents and heard their story ... but there was one in particular that totally sticks out to me. Miss Moxie! Miss moxie is extremely frail and is unable to walk, so she spend her days sitting on her bed, reading Scripture, and talking to visitors. I could barely speak as she praised God for every day she has and told us how thrilled and grateful she was for each breath she takes. After we prayed with her, I walked out and was told Miss Moxie's story. She was in Florida visiting some family members when she got into a car accident that put her into a coma for 2 months. During that time, she got a blood transfusion that infected her with AIDS. She talked about forgiveness and how much she loves God and how confident she is of His love for her. I've never been so humbled in my life.

DCLA Conference

July 9-13, 2009

Mark led a daily Lab Room with two of our students and I got to go as moral support and tech guru. We had about 400 students and leaders in our room every morning. We got to bond with the circle leaders over the 4 days and had a total blast with our Lab! The amazing, defining time I had was a late night get together with some of the top people in Youth Specialties. I got to spend time talking about what it is to be a woman in ministry. I walked away from that gathering feeling so encouraged about the ways God is using me.

BigStuf - PCB, FL

July 18-24, 2009

It was a wild and crazy week with The Skit Guys, Casey Darnell, Stuart Hall, and Jared Herd. It was one thing after another from the start of the bus ride that made me just want to be home. Frustrations were building and consequences were getting heavier. But within 24 hours, God completely rocked our world! After the final evening session, Jamie led our team down to the beach and had us kneel in the sand as we looked out at the ocean lit by the moonlight. As we sat there, Jamie grabbed me and said "This may seem looney but just follow my lead". So we started to walk into the water with one of our students. Right there we had a beautiful baptism ... which led to another ... and another. We spent about an hour in the water baptizing 26 students ... 23 from our church, 3 from other churches. It was one of the most beautiful and special times I've ever had with students.

Encounter Uganda Update to come in a few days ... I'm exhausted. But hold on to your seats ... there's some good stuff coming up!

Oh How He Loves Us So ...

2009-06-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a crazy past 2 weeks. Even just the past 24 hours have been a whirlwind.

On June 7, my beautiful little niece, Cassidy Marie, was born. She is absolutely amazing and I can't get the smile off my face when I think about her ... I don't think I've ever prayed so earnestly for anyone than this little girl.

Yesterday Zach and I decided it would be a good idea to drive to Erie to see the comedian Brian Regan ... and it was a great idea! We had a blast!!! I also had a crazy day this morning, rushing downtown with Amanda to meet the Stanley Cup champs! We got to get autographs, pictures, and touch the Stanley Cup. Who can claim that??? (Besides the Pens of course)

But that hasn't been the amazing stuff of the past two weeks. I've just continually been dwelling in God's love for us all.

When my stress level rises, I have the tendency to take on too much, not take care of myself enough, and wear myself out to the point where I am just angry and irritated with the people I love. But in the past 2 weeks when I reached my limit, God was so faithful to sustain me. I may have had a mental breakdown or two ... but in the midst of those breakdowns, God revealed the beautiful community I have around me. I have a boss that doesn't just say thanks, but he blesses me with things like Wii games to help calm me down. I have dear friends that seem to have encouraging words to say at the perfect moment. As Father's Day rolls around, God has helped me to celebrate my dad and the amazing man he was in my life in such a way that He is turning my mourning into dancing for the beauty of eternity. The truth in His word has truly begun to dwell in my heart in such a way that it has opened my soul to seeing God in the big and little things when things get tough.

I've always been the one to take control ... and run out of my own strength .... and get frustrated when people didn't follow through or things didn't go my way. But God has started to align my heart with His a little more that has opened me up to seeing Him no matter what happens. It has changed my attitude and the way I approach things ... from meetings to spending time with friends to finances. He's got it. He creates, He gives, He takes, He blesses, He teaches, He disciplines .... HE LOVES.

I have fallen in love with the song "How He Loves Us" and it has kind of become my anthem because of the first verse and the truth that lies deep in the lyrics:

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware

of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are

and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so

Let His love overcome your fears

His Love is Strong ...

2009-05-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I showed up at my mom's house today to surprise her with flowers ... and she's not home. Of course this is how my day is going. Sooo .... I'm sitting on the couch watching VH1's Tough Love by myself and ready to take a nap.

This morning at church we dove into God's love for us. I needed to hear what was shared this morning. It wasn't even the words that Pastor Bruce shared necessarily. But as the Scripture stared back at me throughout the sermon, God revealed some beautiful truths through it.

James 1:17-18

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James says that God is the one who gives us every good and every perfect gift. And I had to stop and think if I look for those good and perfect things. Do I even understand what is good and perfect in my life. And do I actively seek out the beautiful good and perfect things God is giving me?

He also says that God doesn't change .... He does not throw "evil" curveballs for funsies. God's love for us is absolutely consistent. Nothing I do can change His love.

Verse 18 is absolutely beautiful and I don't think I would ever see the full beauty of it if Bruce didn't share the Jewish tradition that James is talking about here. The words "chose" and "give" hold such strong value. It's something that I've realized about relationships .... real love is choosing to love that person even when things get difficult and being willing to give of yourself so that the other person will be blessed and know they're loved. Do you understand the fact that God chooses to give us eternal life? His love is that beautiful. And what about being a "kind of firstfruits"? What do you think that means? Because I had no idea. But in the Jewish tradition, they would mark the "firstfruits" of the harvest with a reed and then collect them in an ornate basket, put the basket on an ox, and parade it through the streets so everyone can give thanks to God for what He gave. He wraps a reed around us .... He takes special care of us and gives us beauty and good and perfection .... He shows us off in awe of what He made. We are His.

Sometimes I forget that it is God's love for me that matters most. He is my #1 love. And when I compare myself to others, I am not seeing the good and perfect things God has given me. And not seeing the beauty He has instilled in me. And when I forget those things, I change who I am to try and fit someone else's mold. And I realize I'm really unhappy when I do that because apparently it's not about fitting someone else's mold because the fact is I'll never be a fit. It's about living out God's love for His creation with the specific way He has molded me ... no one else can love the way I do because I am a one-of-a-kind. I am able to grow the Kingdom of God through my smile ... my laughter ... and my heart to share God's love.

Remember God's love today. His love is strong. His love is beautiful. His love is number one.

Listen to Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong" today .... take a moment to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Relish in the strength and dignity that are yours through your Creator's love.

Do You Remember the Time ...

2009-04-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

So I just got home from youth group and I walk in to my mom watching American Idol. Jamie Foxx was performing and my mom just kept talking about how talented he is. And all I can flash back to is "Wanda" ... her big lips, crossed eyes, and big booty. Wanda was Jamie's character on In Living Color ....

Enjoy remembering the times before Jamie Foxx became a serious actor and take in the hilarity of who he is ...

Unbelievable ...

2009-04-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

I am continually questioning the direction of our culture.

Last night was the Miss USA pageant. During the Q&A, Miss California received a quite ironic question. She pulled out the question by Judge #8, Perez Hilton that asked "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?"

Before I mention anything about her answer, let me tell you about Perez Hilton. He has become "famous" by dishing disgusting gossip about celebrities and talking poorly about people. He makes a mockery of any celebrity he can while furthering his own "fame" by partying with them later in the week. Some hate him ... some love him. How he became a judge for the Miss USA pageant raises enough questions. What qualifications does he have that makes him eligible to judge one of the largest pageants of the nation? He "judges" people for a living ... but in an absolutely shallow way.

So here was how Miss California answered: "Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."

You saw Perez Hilton's face turn to a look of hatred and you heard a mix of boos and applause from the live audience. And now Perez Hilton is saying her answer to that question cost her the crown. And today I checked his website and he tore her apart .... wrote terrible things about her, calling her a dumb -----. Over one honest answer that in no way was blatantly offensive or derogatory.

I am just proud of her integrity. I am thankful for her honesty. She is simply sharing her heart in front of the entire nation. She didn't say she was disgusted by gay marriage or that she hopes it's completely outlawed. She stated that her belief is that marriage is between a man and a woman.

I have to thank you, Carrie Prejean ... because you are a Miss USA because you're willing to go against the grain when push comes to shove. And I'm sure you weren't the only "Miss" contestant to have that same belief.

How dare we shame this beautiful young woman for being honest when we dealt with Miss Teen South Carolina 2008 who couldn't tell you where Afghanistan was on a map. Honesty vs. knowledge ... there's a difference.

I think Perez needs to understand that he's not always right and that it's about learning a person's heart before judging them ... because he clearly judged her with her belief vs. his .... not her as a person.

I'm not sure if this all makes sense ... but in between phone calls, Dancing With the Stars, and Olive wanting to play ... my brain is everywhere.

What do you think about Miss California's answer and the media frenzy that has now ensued?

Gently Whispering Hope ...

2009-02-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

Oh man, it's been forever since I've updated this thing. Christmas and the general chaos of January quickly consumed me and I am just now starting to catch up on life.

So what's been going on, you ask? Well here's a quick run down of the month of January:

- Prepping for the Ski Trip and making it actually happen last weekend

- Making our huge dinner dance fundraiser happen (pray for it ... it's happening next Saturday!) so selling tickets, getting a team together to make it all happen, etc.

- Making the Mexico Missions trip happen ... January = advertising and accepting applications

So what does February hold?

- Steelers won the Superbowl ... in case you missed that :)

- Fundraiser actually happens .... woohoo!

- Mexico meetings start ... buying plane tickets, booking housing and vans, making sure everyone has passports, and paperwork paperwork paperwork!!!!

- Summer Camp Sign-Ups start flowing in

- Time to start raising support for my 2nd journey to Uganda in August

Anyway, enough business talk. Time to share what God's been teaching me and all the ways He's been loving me.

(This is a side note but I just called one of the ladies on my fundraising team and she answered the phone with "Hello Leanne, I love you!" ... hearing that after I just typed the above statement ... God is Love :) )

I always claim to be a very secure person. I know who God created me to be ... He built me to love HIm and love others. Sometimes my passions and desires change, but at the core of who I am is Gal. 2:20 --- I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. So yes, I am secure in that. But sometimes the insecurities that have haunted us in the past rear their ugly heads. And what happens when I get insecure ... I get quiet.

For some reason, I sometimes forget how funny God created me to be ... and He has created me to love people through relationships ... and He has given me crazy amounts of wisdom and ideas. And let's be honest, those are some great attributes God has blessed me with! So why would I ever want to shy away from letting those be seen and used for His glory!!!

Through it all, God has been gently whispering hope and love into my ear. At moments when I feel insecure, I'll feel a hand on my shoulder or have one of the cool old ladies here at church tell me they wish they had my body or my laugh. And for that, I am utterly grateful. Because the things I so quickly get insecure about, God gently reminds me of how beautiful on the inside and outside I am.

Talk about our Almighty God's faithfulness. And it is true ... He takes care of the birds when they're hungry. How much more will He care for us!

Listen this week .... listen for the ways God is gently whispering hope, love, peace, encouragement, wisdom, and blessings to you.

(Ski Trip pictures will soon fill this spot) ..... :)

'Tis the Season to be Merry ...

2008-12-19T12:05:00.000-08:00

I was in Target earlier this week buying my Christmas cards (that will not get sent out in time for Christmas ... oops) and I overheard these two young women looking at cards saying, "Theseare beautiful but why do they have to be so religious? I mean, really, look at this ... peace on earth. " I just had to walk away. I walked around Target thinking, "If you don't like the fact that it is a relgious holiday then don't celebrate it." I honestly was just in shock, unsure of what to think about the whole thing.

Then Jamie came in with a similar story today. He overheard to girls talking about how they hate that the "relgious people" took Christmas away from them. So Jamie (knowing I had a similar experience earlier this week) turned to them and spoke the truth and beauty of Christmas into their lives.

And then it hit me ... people seriosuly don't understand even what the word Christmas means. Break it down ... Christ, as in Jesus Christ, and -mas stands for to have a mass or service in memory of. Christmas ... to stop and remember Jesus ... the moment the Divine became Man. May weshare that with people with love , gentleness, and respect. Through our actions may we share the love of God with everyone we meet.

It's funny because we'll hear churches across America say, "Don't say Happy Holidays. Wish people a Merry Christmas" ... when it really doesn't matter if people don't know what Christmas truly stands for.

The Strange Things I've Seen ...

2008-12-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

So I feel like this week has been filled with seeing all kinds of things that make me either burst out laughing, have pity on something/someone, or want to scream. So here they are in no particular order:

Now let's be honest ... this could possibly be the best thing to own for Christmas. If you know me at all, you know I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I love everything about it (except for the materialism that so easily takes over .... but everything else I love!). And for me, the girl who watches 24 hours of A Christmas Story (thanks to TNT)every year, this makes Christmas that much more special. On the back it tells you what some of the spaces are, like "The Bumpuses' Smelly Hounddogs". And the coveted playing pieces are a leg lamp, bb gun, and others of the sort! Seriously, this would be on my coffee table and I would have "A Christmas Story" Parties where we would watch the movie and play the game. Fantastic times!

Next on the list: The inordinate amount of inappropriate Christmas cards. Most of them had to do with Santa pooping. I guess bowel movements have become more mainstream humor in recent months, but this one totally took the prize for most inappropriate card. Now granted, I laughed REAL hard when I saw this because I flashbacked to a book I bought for Deb and Jared when they had their first child, Caeden. It was a cheesy book about parenting that had the right way and wrong way to do parenting with drawings like this card has. But unfortunately I first saw this card with one of my 11th grade girls, so the laughing was a little off-color, but we couldn't contain ourselves. And how did it end? Some lady said, "Wow, you two are having way too much fun in the card aisle." So we walked away.

Weird thing #3: Our poor little starfish's insides appear to be on the outside after Jamie popped its pimple-like growth on it's backside. It was pretty intesnse and the poor little Starfish doesn't seem too healthy. So now he has his insides all exposed. It did allow us to make some pretty funny STD jokes though. We're a strange crew like that. It's pretty disgusting, I'll be honest. So we already killed one seahorse. Now we are playing the waiting game with little Starry here.

And the sad one for the week. After I read about this, it truly put me in a holy anger. Planned Parenthoods in Indiana are selling gift certificates this Christmas. Understandably these can be used for doctors appointments and contraception. I'm not going to get all conservative about that. What bothers me is their tagline. They decided "Give hte gift of abortion this Christmas" was a totally appropriate way to advertise their new idea. We continually try to take the stigma away from abortion. but after you've dealt with girls that have had one. After you've seen women in your life go through years of growth with God to simply forgive themselves. When you see men weep over a decision made years ago .... abortion is not an "in and out" procedure that leaves you feeling healthier and ready to conquer the world.

And here are some pictures of Mel and I. We have had a blast together the past week! We've gotten to hang out a whole lot which equaled a lot of photo opts. Here are just a few to wrap up this little ditty of chaos.

When Traditions Aren't Traditions Anymore ...

2008-12-10T08:08:00.000-08:00

So Christmas is coming up in 2 weeks. All the preparations are being made ... finishing shopping, wrapping gifts, baking a junkload of cookies, attending all the Christmas parties you can handle. But there's always those things you hold dear during the craziness of the Christmas season ... the family traditions.

This year is going to be different. The family traditions that we've held in our home for 25 years have suddenly changed. With my dad no longer with us, Christmas doesn't feel the same. He used to spend months preparing for Christmas (maybe that's why I find it totally legit to listen to Christmas music in October). He would spend countless hours setting up his train display. It was the one hobby he had ... I think because it took him back to his childhood. So right after Thanksgiving we would carry all his train stuff upstairs, set up the tree, decorate, Dad would get his trains all set up, Mom would take care of scenery .... and it was beautiful ... because it was something we all did together.

But this year, Christmas is not at all what it was. This is the Christmas tree my mom has up. It's a 3-foot optic light tree that spins ... no ornaments, garland, angel on top ... nothing. It is sitting on a table in the living room.

Talk about a Christmas downer. That's one tradition gone. And what about Christmas morning? How weird is it going to be! My mom never put names on the wrapped presents so every year we would open at random and then swap. She did it mainly because my dad's reaction was so funny ... he never caught on. After years of my mom's humor leaking out on Christmas morning he never picked up on the fact he wasn't being handed his own presents. But that was before.

So here we are. Our first Christmas without our Dad. Is it going to be different, awkward, and a little sad? Absolutely. Am I going to miss the traditions I've known my entire life? You can bet on it. But this is also a season of newness and growth. So my prayer is that God would continually bring my family together ... start new traditions ... and never forget what used to be.

Reminiscing the College Days ...

2008-12-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

So here I am ... another beautiful Monday afternoon spent at a new coffeehouse. I'm currently at the Beaver Falls Coffee and Tea Co. This place wins my total vote for best place ever! They bought a house, gutted it, and has turned it into the coolest hang out spot for all Geneva students! My drink was delicious and my friend and I had some fantastic little desserts (definitely homemade which is bonus point!). BFCAT was started by a couple from Geneva that graduated right after me. They have live music at night, support fair trade, currently are playing Damien Rice's O cd, and have built quite an awesome reputation with the college folks. I'm loving it!

I forgot that I've been out of college for 4 years already. I'm sitting here watching this girl tell this guy all about Twilight (which is making me want to leave ... because if I hear one more thing about crazy teenage vampires, someone's gonna get punched). Another table of girls are working on their Poli Sci. debate ... and the topic of it: gay marriage ... ah, all those fun political terms we try using to impress Dr. Neikirk. Earlier, I met a guy who was taking Dr. Shidemantle's class on the book of Revelation and ended up talking ot him for 15 minutes and realizing we know a lot of the same people. I love how God continually connects the dots ... He shares with you the fruit of other people's labors. I love it. And it's amazing to see all the ways God has grown me and taught me and stretched me since college. Rememering who I was when I left here and evaluating who I am today .... talk about a testimony to God's love and grace.

Anyway, it's time for me to spend some time with my wonderful mentor, Becca. We're attempting to meet weekly. We've failed all year. Then I want to get back home while it's still light out because I found 2 kittens in our garage today (that technically I'm not supposed to be in ... oops) and so I'm going to see if I can get them into the apartment at least ... they're going to freeze with the temperatures we've been having lately and their mamacat is nowhere to be found.

And tonight ... I'm watching A Christmas Story for the 1st time this season ... I've been on a Christmas Vacation kick the past few weeks so that was my movie of choice ... time for something new. It will also get me stoked for next Wednesday because Amanda (my bff) and I are heading to Cleveland to see where A Christmas Story was filmed and to go to the gift shop there ... yes, we are willing to go to Cleveland for that.

Have a fantastic Monday. Finish your Christmas shopping. And if you're thinking of any last minute gifts for me, I would love these!!!!

I Am Captivated By Him ...

2008-12-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

It's finally that time of season where I don't feel bad listening to Christmas music! So my car has Relient K, Jars of Clay, Sara Groves, and good ol' Christmas Classic cds .... yay for Christmas music!!!

Fortunately for me, my Christmas shopping is well over half done. Wrapping presents has been in the works for the past week and I'm making decent progress. :) Amanda and I decided it would be a great idea to go Black Friday shopping at 5am. Did we buy a lot for fantastic prices? Not really. But did we laugh a lot and pretty much keep "O Holy Night" sung by Cartman on repeat for the whole mornings ... absolutely! Pictures can be seen on my Facebook page ... a good time (with the help of an early stop at Starbucks) was had by all!

I've started a couple new books that I honestly would have to recommend making your way through. The first is Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I just started it, so I'm just getting into some of the depth, but it's all about God's relentless love for His creation ... for Us. Chan's writing is very blunt ... he is tired of the fluff and it's obvious in this book. He calls us out on all the ways we box God up. The second book is Praying the Names of God by Ann Spangler. I got into Ann Spangler's work over the summer when we used her Women of the Bible as our series for our girls' Bible study. I love the layout of it because she starts you in Genesis and you spend 5 days studying that specific name of God. I am learning so much about the depth of His character. And it's tying into Crazy Love as Chan reminds me that God is so amazing that we honestly can't even comprehend it. I've really appreciated the time I've spent in Scripture and studying God's character ... and simply just spending time with our Heavenly Father ... what a blessing!

And last night I watched Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. I've always liked Ben Stein ... this movie made me love Ben Stein (ya know ... philos love)! To watch him make these revered scientists stumble over their words and sound like they're talking jibberish was just awesome. So yay Ben Stein! Thank you for not just trying to prove God, but for showing the absurdity of the scientific community and the cult they've created with no room for individual thinking and questioning. He's bringing back the best part of science ... being able to ask questions!

Ok, so to wrap this all up, I've just been totally enjoying God as creator the past two weeks. I feel like everything I've read, watched, or talked about has been about God as our CREATOR. It's caused me to look harder at hwo I treat His creation because "the way you treat the creation is a reflection of how you feel about the Creator" - Rob Bell. Shawn McDonald has a couple beautiful songs about God as our creator. I'm not totally into his music, but 2 of his songs are on my Top 25 all Time Favorites. "Beautiful" and "Captivated" are his best songs ... and they're both songs that speak of creation as a reflection of our Creator. Listen to them and spend time admiring our Creator.

(Side Note: I just saw a commercial for some crazy wrestling show ... can you believe The Undertaker is still around beating the snot out of guys? Haha!)

Anyway, so what is your favorite Christmas Song???

If You Know I Love Coffee ....

2008-11-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

Ok ... so I love coffee. And I love Jesus. And I now love Tic Long for creating this video that made me go "Oh man, that is really sad."

Java is good, all the time.
All the time, Java is good.

And we wonder why people don't like to come to church.

What a great parable.

Thanks, Tic.

My Return from Vacation ...

2008-11-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

I'm currently watching That Thing You Do. What a great movie! Skeech ... Jimmy & The Herdsman ... The Oneders ... hahahahahahaha! I could not ask for me on top of Steve Zahn and Ethan Embry in a movie together.

I'm now on load #5 of laundry ... how I can rack up that much laundry is a great question. And one could assume I did my laundry over my vacation, but I purposely chose not to. Because I chose not to do anything on my vacation besides spend time with people and spend a lot of time with God. It was so refreshing. I was able to take my mom out for a day, have some "Caeden and Aunt Lula" time, see the Fichtls for longer than an hour, and lay on the couch with Olive and watch Monty Python's Flying Circus. So that was my vacation in a nutshell.

Returning to work was pretty good ... I felt like I missed so much and was only gone 4 days. You always feel a little more joyful to head back into the trenches of ministry after having time to breath.

This past Friday was a fantastic evening. Our dear friend, Nick Hoover, was heading up the Northbridge Music Project at Bar Louie in Cranberry. Nick is the worship pastor of Northbridge Church and he ahs a huge heart for music as a tool for outreach. So what he did was got a couple bands together to play a local bar ... and the admission fee was a canned good for a local food shelter. I've never been in a bar as packed as Bar Louie was that night! Meg was off taking pictures so I just watched 3 hours of NBA games while listening to the sounds of Shaded Grey and Jason Deutsch. They seemed like they got a great response and hopefully it will open up more doors for ministry in a scene that needs it.

So tomorrow includes a full morning of Sunday Edition and church and then I get to work out, finish working on my talk, and then the.element (aka fantastic time with some of the coolest kids in town!)

What great oldie but goodie movie have you watched lately???

If It's Not Too Late For Coffee ...

2008-11-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhh ... it's finally here! My 6 days off in a row. This is the longest vacation I've taken since January when I got my tonsils out (and that wasn't really a vacation ... more like painful torturing).

So what have I chosen to do on Day 1? That's right ... try out a new coffeehouse in Robinson. I'm not here to feed into my espresso addiction but to do research. I'm blessed to be a total observer. So here I am observing how the baristas interact with customers, what kind of deliciousness is in their display case, how good are their drinks (sidenote: mine is not that great), and what the traffic flow is.

So you may be asking why I am researching the inside of a coffeehouse. That's because I plan on opening one along with a student center. Yea, I know ... it's a great idea right? You can just thank God for the vision and pray for it every day!

It blows my mind how many coffehouses close as quickly as they opened. I mean, why is Starbucks so successful while other coffeehouses offer the exact some goodness and barely last a year?

So here I am ... researching ... so that I can bring the vision I have to long-term reality. And I've decided that on my days off, I'm going to travel around and check out different coffeehouses. Talk to some local owners ... get their insight. It sounds like a stud plan ... and it allows me to feed my love for mocha lattes.

I'm also working my way thru Rob Bell's book Jesus Wants to Save Christians. I'm halfway thru and it's pretty freaking good. He always amazes me with how he fills in the historical details that make Scripture come alive.

Any good reads for you lately?

Prophets of Baal & Ungrieved Grief

2008-11-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

Finally ... I get time to update you on this past weekend! The whole youth staff packed up our stuff, headed 15 minutes down the road to downtown Pittsburgh, leisured it up in the Westin Hotel, and attended the National Youth Workers Convention. I'll be honest, it's my favorite time of year. It's where some of the best youth workers share their experiences, wisdom, and knowledge along with some sa-weet times of worship, and some sacred places to just spend time with our Abba Father.

I wish I could put into words the beauty of what God did in my heart throughout the weekend. But let me just try to share a small glimpse with you.

First off, Andrew Marin, founder of The Marin Foundation, totally blew me away. His ministry helps build bridges to the GLBT community. He's lived in BoysTown (the largest gay community in the USA) for over a decade. He shared personal stories and shared all the things that God has donein his life over the past 10 years. The #1 point I got from him is the following: Many questions about the "hot topics" in the Christian realm are close-ended questions. If you look in Scripture, Jesus was asked clse-ended questions 29 times. He only answered with a Yes/No 3 times and that was to Pilate on his way to the cross. Every other time, he responded with a challenge and dug to a deeper issue. I wish every single youth worker and parent and adult was there to hear Andrew's message.

Secondly, Francis Chan kicked every single minister of the Good News in the butt. He took us to the stroy of Elijah and the Prophets of Baal up on their mountains trying to prove whose God was THE God. The prophets of Baal danced, sang, cut themselves ... all for a response from their god. Elijah watched ... I'm sure he laughed. And I'm sure he felt bad. Because when Elijah got down on his knees and prayed, God showed up and brought down fire. And the prophets of Baal backed away saying "The God is Lord; The God is Lord." How many times do people walk out of the church saying "The God is Lord" so humbly because Scripture was brought to life in their hearts. Sometimes we fall into the song and dance that may look entertaining, but doesn't draw anyone into knowing God is Lord. Yea, chew on that one for awhile.

Lastly, Mark Yaconelli spoke with eloquent words about the things we keep hidden in the deepest of who we are. There are certain things that move our souls that become an act of worship to our Father. When he was a teenager, it was dancing to Saturday Night Fever. He said there was something in the music that made him want to jump out of his skin and go crazy; kind of like when David ripped off his clothes and danced in honor of God's glory. But he also talked about the things we keep in there and don't ever face. He claimed we all have ungrieved grief. And when we don't take care of that grief ... when we don't grieve over our students, our country, our world, and things going on in our own lives, we don't make room for God to bring beauty and light into our souls and into those areas. Now for me, that whole "ungrieved grief" is a very real thing. After Mark finished, all I could think about was the things I haven't wanted to grieve because grieving makes it a reality. But after 4 hours of not being able to even talk because of Mark's challenge, I had to skip a seminar, go to the Prayer Chapel, crawl into the Grieving Corner (a veiled off space ... there was something so holy about it), and just let it all go. I grieved over losing my dad. I grieved over lost friendships. And I grieved over losing some passions that I know are from God and that I have chosen to not arouse.

So on top of all that, we had an amazing time of worship with Starfield (who I enjoyed way more than last year surprisingly) and laughed a lot with The Skit Guys, and worked on how to live in communion with God amongst the chaos of everyday life.

I never want to forget what God taught me this past weekend.

Let's Talk About You and Me ...

2008-10-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

So I was going thru my Bible earlier today and came across some notes from a meeting we had in CA at The Flipside (our young adult group). We did a great series in 2005 about men and women (what other topic would a group of people in their 20s would want to hear about!).

The reason it caught my eye was because it was entitled "Opposites Sexes & Friendship" with Dr. Love ... how awesome! Anyway, I just figured I would share those notes because I think they are a phenomenal look into how relationships/friendships work with the opposite sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opposite Sexes & Friendships

-Dr. Love-

Benefit from learning complimentary personalities.

Girls move outward while Guys move inward --- There was so much wisdom in this ... When a girl falls in love, she forgets herself. When a guy falls in love he comes back to who he is. I had the following written down and I think it still makes sense - "When guys go inward, girls take it personally, so when she verbalizes herself it turns into 'She's engulfing/He's abandoning'"

In relationships, we sometimes forget to let relationships be expansive --- be willing to hold it loosely so that God can move in it and among it, leading you to experience things together you otherwise may have kept from one another.

The Six Things in Friendship --- 1) Assign it top priorities; 2) Cultivate transparency; 3) Dare to talk about your affection; 4) Learn the gestures of love; 5) Create space and boundaries; 6) Stand beside your friend and believe in them even if they've lost faith

What a beautiful picture. As you can tell, it's a blend about friendship and intimate relationship, but when you reach that certain point of intimacy, the friendship stuff is absolutely necessary if you are to build your relationship more.

So what do you think about Dr. Love's words of relational wisdom?

Where's Fluffy?

2008-10-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

I got to see Nick and Norah's Inifinte Playlist yesterday. I wasn't sure if I would like it, thinking it had had the same font and actor as Juno and therefore would be the same type of movie (an instant cult favorite) ... but I was mistaken.

I honestly thought it was a great movie! There were some overall themes I wasn't a huge fan of ... like high school students drinking in the coolest bars in the city or talking so openly about their sex lives making it a focus of each relationship they had. But it had many redeeming qualities!

1. I loved Norah's character. She's a little shy, lives in her own music world, takes on the "Mom" role for her friends, and is insecure about her beauty. I feel a connection with Norah ... maybe because I'm a lot like her.

2. They fall for eachother through their taste in music ... I'm sorry, but if you know me, you know I love music and can be quite particular in my musical pickings ... and I would love to connect with someone knowing that our hearts are moved by the same music before we even knew each other. It speaks to the heart of humanity and what a beautiful God we have for creating music that can break through age, race, and gender and can speak to the human heart. Music is used to celebrate, to seek solace, as a release when we can't always find the right words to actually say. So the whole concept that Norah falls for Nick through his cds before meeting him ... I guess that musical connection is huge for me.

So overall, I laughed a lot through the entire film ... if you're looking for a good movie to catch and you love music and/or teenage culture, it's a great film to see. It makes me want to read the book.

Lastly, an update on the caffeine break I've been taking ... I broke it! Haha! No it's not funny, but it makes more sense to me this way. Hear me out! I chose diet coke for health reasons ... all that fake sugar cannot be good for my brain, so I really just had to quit drinking it. But coffee ... the only reason I decided that was because Ir ealized how much I was spending going to Starbucks all the time ... $3.50 three times a week ... ouch! So I stopped drinking coffee for more financial reasons. So I came to the conclusion that if I am taking a student out or someone else is buying, I will gladly get a short skinny mocha with no whip! Otherwise, I will not be PURCHASING Starbucks for 40 days. I like this WAY better!

2008-10-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

So I'm on Day 4 of my "Caffeine Detox" ...

It's going alright ... I've had a lot of headaches, which tells me how much caffeine I really have been pumping into my system. But I'm actually seeming hydrated now since all I drink is water .... so yay for making a move in the healthy direction!

I watched a great documentary this past week called I Am Trying to Break Your Heart about the band Wilco.

It was one of the better documentaries I've seen because it didnt' make me sick to my stomach orcry ... it was just good music and getting to see the makings of an amazing album.

Jeff Tweedy has one of the more interesting voices in the recording business. Watching him do some solo acoustic stuff just lightened my heart. It seriously de-stressed me a little bit.

For anyone that is interested in making music or enjoys music a whole heck of a lot like me will love this documentary.

My advice to you ...
WATCH IT AND TAKE IT ALL IN!

I also purchased a new book. I'm kind of nerdy in how much I enjoy reading. But I'm a super slow reader ... especially with Rob Bell books. It's not that I'm not interested in them, believe me! I love his books! But the way he writes makes youwant to stop and process every couple pages ... and his endnotes are as good as the book so you're constantly flipping back and forth.

Anyway, so I got his new book, Jesus Want to Save Christians. I'm only 2 chapters in and took a substantial chunk of last night to get through it all. I have a feeling thisb ook is going to kick us all in the butt. From what I've read thsu far, he is talking about the realtionship of where humanity hasbeen and where we are and where we are going in the context of Scripture, taking us from Genesis to Revelation. It looks good and so far has me very interested.

I'll hopefully finish the book by Monday. That gives me two days off to sit at Crazy Mocha and read my little heart out!

Alright, peace out.

We All Breathe Deep

2008-10-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

Two semi "big deal" purchases happened for me over the past couple weeks. Check 'em out:

1. I got a new phone ... and it's not just any phone ... it's got a touchscreen ... full keyboard ... pretty much, it's the most pimp phone that was in my price range.

For those of you that know me well, you know I always talk about "chucking my phone into the ocean" ... well I guess now I'm kind of invested. So me and the Voyager are going to push through.

Yay for new phones that have way too many applications than needed!

2. A new iPod!

You may or may not know the debacle thatis os my old iPod ... but after getting trampledon in Uganda and hitting (of all places) the bottom of the EFX machine, it has been dead for about 4 months. So as my birthday has come and gone, I received an abundance of Best Buy gift cards for the beautiful new iPod.

Was pink my first choice? No.
Was purple my first choice? Yes.
So why pink instead of purple? All 16 gb colored iPods were on backorder except for this little beauty. I was desperate and impulsive.

I am currently taking a "quick break" from working on my talk for tonight at youth group. I'm breaking the myth that Christianity is a Religion. To be honest, I love this topic. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I just finished some awesome books talking about this very idea ... that Jesus is so different among other gods ... and that the church (also first called The Way) didn't startas a doctrinal statement. The Way began as a lifestyle ... an outpouring of sharing the story of Christ and the compassion and service that flowed from that. So I'm stoked about it.

Lastly, I decided to do a 40-Day fast from coffee and diet coke ... I want to rely on God and eating healthy for myenergy ...no more crazy caffeine days and fake sugar headaches anymore.

I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret ...

2008-09-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Moon's Dirty Little Secret ...

You see it in the movies, but never believe it to be right in your neighborhood. But it happened ... 3 different businesses were busted for prostitution rings only a 1/2 mile from Moon Middle School. Now, the question that I raise is how come it took law enforcement THIS long to bust these places?

I guess I'm naive, because I never even noticed the Pine Tree Spa and Sports Massage places ... even though I passed them every day through middle school and high school. Never once did I hear anyone mention anything about them. But supposedly people have known for years about what was really happening in these spas.

So if people knew for years ... what finally made law enforcement decide to go after busting these places? Was there finally a change in authority? Or did it take that long to finally get evidence enough to bust them?

It always seems surreal, but you never know what's happening in your backyard ...

What has happened in your neighborhood that's shocked you?

Heaven Weeps for the Creepy People Like You ...

2008-09-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

After a long weekend, our "borrowed" internet is working and I am up watching Elizabethtown. I enjoyed the movie before, but it has so much more beauty because I feel like I relate to it now. The death of a father ... learning about yourself and your family through the stories people tell ... the choices we have in life. So not only is the movie beautiful, but the soundtrack is a total winner ... perfect for any road trip.

Friday night I had the privelage of sitting down and watching my latest netflix with my roomie. In recent months, I've become a documentary geek ... so I've gotten documentaries dealing with sex trafficking to the life of monks. So ... Friday's dvd arrival was Jesus Camp. I don't know if you've seen Jesus Camp, but it was heart-wrenching to watch. Chelsey and I had a hard time containing our laughter/horror/disturbance of it all. If you don't know the premise, this film crew went to experience the children's ministry under the headship of Pastor Becky, a pentacostal Children's Director that runs a camp for families to "build up Christian soldiers." Of course they choose the weirdest families they could find in North Dakota to make as the film's stars. There were several things that were beyond disturbing to me as a follower of Christ.

Let me start with one of Pastor Becky's quotes ... "If the radical Islamics are raising their children to be soldiers, then we should be raising our children to be soldiers for Christ". Notice that comparison ... and how does that not scare you!

Throughout the whole film, they kept putting stats of "Evangelical Christians" ... they used stats such as "43% of Americans claim to be born again Evangelical Christians" as speaking toward the validity of this film. But this film is focused on a very small group of people with a faith based purely on emotions and rules. There was some validity and beauty in what was going on with these children ... but it was mostly based purely on emotions. To listen to Pastor Becky and to hear her tone and the anger in her voice about sin ... of course I can understand why these kids are crying! But then to see all these children speaking in tongues and being slain in the Spirit ... an eerie feeling came over my heart. Meanwhile, through the entire film the continually relate this radical group of pentecostal Christians to every Christian ... it takes one sour taste for a person to be turned off to something beautiful forever.

One of the last scenes in the movie is this family traveling to Colorado Springs to attend the church of Ted Haggard. Now, if you don't remember what went down with Ted Haggard last year, he was relieved of all his leadership roles (as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and pastor of New Life Church) due to a sex scandal with a male prostitute and drug use. So after all this talk about "evangelical Christians", this is where the film hits a pinnacle ... with Ted Haggard! I just had to laugh out loud.

Overall, I'm glad I watched it. But I am in no way excited to be tied to that movie of it being a true picture of what loving Christ looks like.

After all that, my brain hurts. I'm going to finish watching Elixabethtown and then continue my new reading adventure of Everyone Wants to go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die by David Crowder.

Awaken What's Inside of Me ...

2008-09-26T05:07:00.000-07:00

Good morning! ... I think.

I'm in the office early this morning after taking a student to breakfast (which meant I was up at a healthy 5am ... you can imagine how much coffee I'm running on right now!).

(Spoiler Alert!)
I'm hoping you were able to catch The Office premiere last night! I honestly have not laughed that hard in a long time. From goatees to weddings to random warehouse sex to tapeworms ... WOW! My favorite line actually came from Phyllis because she kind of is a mix of all my aunts put together ... she said, "I wonder what people like about me? Probably my jugs." This being said after Dwight forced her out of the car and made her walk 5 miles so she'd get some exercise. Oh gosh, the whole episode was disturbing, awkward, and absolutely hysterical!

Most hearbreaking moment: Michael ripping up the Counting Crow tickets ... what a relationally retarded man! ... and I love the Counting Crows!!!

Honestly, I am looking forward to Michael and Holly getting together. But the process of them getting there is probably WAY funnier.

Best line from Michael about Holly: "It's all your fault, Jim! You and your stupid friend zone! It's should be love and sex then friends!"

Most exciting moment: Jim finally proposing to Pam! He's had that ring forever

Saddest but portrayed hysterically Moment: Kelly trying to lose weight "I hate this worm insde of me!"

----> What a great shot of her passing out! ---->

So enough about The Office.

**********************************

I'm so looking forward for God to re-awaken my heart. I feel like my soul has been so burdened and so heavy and so dark lately. I've kept myself busy instead of finding time to grieve. I've filled my schedule spending time withe people when what I Really need is to spend some significant time with God ... and simply being by myself. It's tough being an intravert

I just feel there's so much happening in my heart that I'm not awakening. God has been kicking my butt in so many areas of my life, but I'm burying them deep. Maybe because I feel too occupied ... maybe it's because I know once I bring them to the surface, He's going to continue doing so much more. All I can do is continually hand it over to Him, asking Him to do whatever it takes to help my heart to heal, process, grow, and share.

We have such a beautiful God

(And can anyone name the title song of this post? And don't be a cheese and google the answer ... use you musical knowledge!)

Take This Sinking Ship and Point It Home

2008-09-16T19:14:00.000-07:00

So I decided my titles will be lyrics from the last song I listened to ... and whoever can guess what song it's from gets a present. The present will be revealed to the winner.

Anyway, it's been an eventful week to say the least and things don't seem to be slowing down.

Saturday night was great because I got to enjoy the blessings of cable ... I watched The Soup (I really believe Joel McHale needs to be my best friend) and SNL (Michael Phelps ... good effort ... Tina Fey for V.P.). I loved sitting

Sunday was an extremely long day. I didn't make it to church because we had a Student Ministry Open House ... so I sat at a table, drank my XL coffee, and smiled a lot. And then we had youth group at night. Things started out normal ... people showed up, we ate brownie sundaes, hung out in small groups ... and then it happened. Halfway thru Mark's talk, I walk outside to pick some stuff up. Parents start to pour in one after another, asking for their children. Tornado warnings and 50 mph winds have everyone in a panic. So I try to politely speed Mark up. As the worship band started to play at 8:30, the electricty went out a couple times. After all our students left, I decided I would head straight home because I was dogsitting and figured they might not be doing well. My drive home was horrendous. It looks like all the trees had been massacred and their remains left on the streets as evidence to the power of its enemy. I get to the house and can't even make it down the driveway due to all the debris. So there I was after a long day working, moving branches (and full trees) out of the way, so I can get home. And what do I walk in to? Blackness. I've never been so scared. This house is in the middle of the beautiful PA forestry but there is a haunting feeling when it's pitch black. So I ended up having a slumber party with the 3 dogs (who are big wusses!) ... 1 on my bed and 2 right next to it.

Monday was my birthday :)
And honestly, I wouldn't have spent it any other way.
It started off as a fantastic day ... a beautiful 67 degree weather ... perfecct for a thin hoodie. God knew that would put a smile on my face. And then I spent the afternoon with my mom and we had Sheetz for lunch .... mmmmm so good. Then I headed to the gym (where there was still no power) and sweat out my Sheetz sub. Then I had dinner with a friend and watched a couple movies with a drink. And at the end of the night, Olive was excited to have me back home, so she curled up with me in bed and I got a GREAT night's sleep (I think I have the best mattress ever)

So to today, we still had no power at the church so work got moved to meetings at Starbucks, Panera, and Bruce's House. So yay for not being in the office!

But the most beautiful time I had was on Sunday night in the dark. Granted I could've done without the dogs (if you know me at all you know I'm not a dog person). But with no cable ... no internet ... no music ...I was left with a flashlight and my Bible. I went thru and found papers to reminisce of, and I read some of Acts (which I've been doing an awesome study in for the past month) ... and I sang worship ... cried a little with God ... and feel like I dealt with some stuff that was so heavy on my heart. I was so grateful God opened that oppoertunity for Him and I to just hang out. It was necessary as I step into the next 3 weeks of chaos at the church. So actually, the title to this blog feels like it fits.

So who can name the song?

Sweet Dreams are Made of This ...

2008-09-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Today, the topic of dreams has come up on every phone conversation. And I heard some doozies. The best one was that my friend dreamt she was in the Cranberry Mall parking lot with some street vendors and wanted to buy a deodorant that repelled men that weren't good for her ... she was all about buying it until she saw it was $30 ... so she didn't buy it.

I laughed out loud for a solid 10 minutes after hearing that one. How awesome would that be! I would gladly try that deodorant out. It would eliminate half the annoyance of relationships. Now if only it attracted the guys that were good for you ... it would be the ultimate deodorant.

But dreams have a way of affecting us. Some of us have vivid crazy dreams while others can't even remember their dreams. But they can be very powerful.

For those of you that don't know (because I didn't really say anything about it 'til now), my dad passed away August 14 after a 16 month battle with lung cancer. You can only imagine what it is like to lose your parent. Let's be honest, it sucks. But through the past 16 months, God has been faithful and worked many miracles in my dad's life and the life of our family. And through dreams, God has spoken to my mom, my brother, and myself regarding my dad ... in different ways at different times.

I had dreams when I was in elementary school about my dad dying of lung cancer ... I didn't even know what cancer was, but it lived in my memory. I had dreams of my wedding where my uncle walked me down the aisle because my dad wasn't alive. Those dreams sucked, but there was always something in my gut that told me to treasure the time I had with my dad because we didn't have long. So when he got diagnosed and he struggled through the past 16 months, it wasn't a shock and I felt a peace that can only come from God. God used those dreams to prepare my heart for 18 years for the day my dad would die.

My mom ... my mom started to listen to the way I talked about how God worked miracles during the time my dad was sick, but she just misses him so much. It's interesting because they didn't have the perfect marriage. The last few years were rough and there was a warmness in our house that seemed to grow cold. But when my dad went into hospice, my mom's emotions were everywhere. She stood there saying, "I know it's been rough the past few years, but when you see your husband like this, all you can think about are the good memories." She didn't expect him to go downhill so quickly. She didn't know what to do. But a few days after he passed, my mom had a dream. All that happened was that my dad walked up the stairs, looked her in the eyes, and smirked. That's all she needed. It was in that moment that she felt a peace come over her. It doesn't mean she's not mourning ... but God used that dream to bring her some peace.

And then there's my brother. I feel like 2008 has been hardest on him. We've lost our grandfather (yep ... my dad's dad) and our uncle (my brother's godfather) and our dad in 2008. Those were 3 men that played large roles in my brother's life. So understandably dad's passing was difficult for him. But God knew exactly what my brother needed. This past weekend, my brother had a dream that he describes as a "flashback in a movie". And there he was ... with dad. They embraced ... my brother cried ... and tried to explain to dad that he was dead. And my dad gave him the best response: "Son, look at me. I'm not sick anymore. I'm alive!" Although my brother begged for him not to go, my dad said he would see him again. My brother told me today, "Leanne, I'm not all about visions and dreams and God ... but I believe it now."

God continues to be faithful ... He is continuing to reveal His love through the sadness. The grieving process is different for everyone. But I've continually been a witness to the fact that God gives a peace that totally transcends all understanding. God is leading us from valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy.

It's late ... I don't know why I'm still awake ... and so I'm going to rawl into bed and hopefully have a good dream :)

Redefining Love ...

2008-07-31T20:21:00.000-07:00

The past two days have been filled with a theme that I have come to discover is something I want to strive to do ... Redefining love.

Last night at the NEBO group, we started talking about silence with God. As our conversation went on, it moved to the reflection of our relationship with God to our interaction with one another. We all hate awkward silence. I'm the type of person to do whatever possible to break it ... even if it means making a "now's not the time to laugh" kind of comment. Why is silence so awkward? And we discovered when you know you have an awesome, intimate and fantastic person in your life ... when you can sit on the phone or sit in a car silent ... and not feel awkward.

There is intimacy in silence. We don't always have words to say and don't always share every thought on our mind. But when you would rather be in a room with someone in silence than talk to anyone else ... that's intimacy ... that's an aspect of love. So shouldn't we seek that with God? Shouldn't we seek out the beauty of being silent in His presence? How intimate do we get with our Creator? Why do we fear intimacy with Him? I believe we fear to get intimate with God because we don't really believe we are created in His image and we don't really believe He is who He says He is.

Then today I had several conversations about our human relationships in comparison to our relationship with God. If you know me at all, I love to tell people God loves them. But after I thought about it today, that is hard for some people to accept because they relate love to human love they've experienced. For some, "love" is so skewed. Mel and I were talking tonight about our fears when it comes to marriage ... because the examples and experiences we've had with "love" don't seem to match what we'd hope it to be. But I realized that we struggle so much understanding God and trusting in His character because we associate Him to something we've experienced here on earth ... and when will we realize God works in totally different ways!!! And imagine what marriages could be like when we grasp God-defined love? Imagine how different all our relationships would be! Every single relationship we had with people would be so radically different.

I want to redefine love and help people to discover a love that could never compare to anything here because it is that amazing ... that powerful ... that indescribable. I want to redefine love among my relationships. I want to redefine God's love that is so much more than we can offer.

In beautiful silence is indescribable intimacy.

Tonight may you be silent with your Abba Father, the One who created you, and discover His love that surpasses all other loves. Take what you know about love and throw it away because God has so much more to tell you about love.

Entertaining Thoughts of What I'm Gonna Do ...

2008-07-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm at a roadblock.

This morning I was up pretty early saying goodbye to some friends and I just couldn't fall back asleep. I had this nudge to journal the crap out of ... my journal. So I opened my journal to the next blank page, got my pen ready, and then ... I just sat there. I couldn't decide whether it was because I had so many thoughts I didn't know where to start or if I tried to erase what I wanted to journal about. Either way, my usual routine of journaling has come to a hault.

Actually, my journaling has been on a hault since I got back from Uganda. I think I'm scared of what will come out on those pages. The amount of emotion that would be brought to the surface seems beyond overwhelming. If you look at my previous posts from Uganda, obviously there's so much from that trip. Then we went to Daytona which was phenomenal ... I haven't had time to de-bunk all my thoughts. But I guess I have to start somewhere.

So here I am ... listening to the Garden State soundtrack because it currently fits the exact mood I'm in. There's soemthing about the voices ... not even the lyrics, but the voices that is forcing me to process. It's forcing me to find the words I couldn't say before.

So after my journaling attempt, I'm going to bed hoping to get some sleep. The past week has been 2am wake-ups by a kitten attacking my leg or phone calls or beautiful people. But tonight is my night.

Catching My Breath ... Uganda #2

2008-07-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

*** There's been so much that has happened the past few weeks that I can't fit it in one blog, so there will be a few posted describing my life this summer :)

So I've been back from Uganda for4 weeks now ... and have finally felt ready to share more about my time there: the experiences; the people; the things God did; the things He taught me.

The Story of "Winnie"
Winnie was a beautiful young girl I met the first day in Hoima. Her and I had an instant connection ... she was a dancer for Grace House and loved having all us "muzungus" around. Within the 2 weeks we were there, she pushed me on the swing (I guess I look funny on a swing built for 6 year olds), danced with me, sang with me, introduced me to jackfruit, and simply was the embodiment of the next generation of Christ followers in Uganda. My heart just went out to this beautiful young girl. They can't pronounce my name in Uganda so they would translate it to "Lillian", so I took to the name pretty easily. Well, on the last day I had with Winnie, I learned her real name is Lillian. To some people, it may seem like "Big deal ... you have the same name". But to me it was so much more. God totally bonded me to Winnie ... she is my little sister in Hoima. I think about her every day ... and pray for her every day. She is going to be the hands and feet of Jesus in Hoima. And my family just grew a little bigger ...

The Story of Piregea's Orphanage
During our first week, half our team was working at an orphanage about 2 1/2 hours from Hoima run by a woman named Piregea. The water team was putting in a clean water well. The TN team was building a playground for the orphanage. And the health team ran a small clinic to give check-ups to all the children. So our little "Clean Water" team headed up to Piregea's to meet the children and go to the local schools to tell them about the new clean water well we were drilling. Piregea is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. Both her parents died when she was young, so she was taken care of by her uncle. When she was 8, she took in her first orphan. She's been taking care of orphaned children since then.
On our drive up, we ended up coming to a fork in the road and no one knew which way to go. So our driver AND our security guard got out of the car trying to find someone to give us directions. What we discovered is that the road we were to take is actually known as The Road to Piregea's. Everyone knows this woman! What a witness of Christ's love!
When we got there, the younger kids were at the orphanage while the older kids were in school. These children were so beautiful. They couldn't tell you their names and most of them looked like they were suffering from dysentery ... but they were amazing. I started rubbing one of the little boy's backs (because I know I loved that when I was little) and he was attached to me the rest of the time. One by one, each child got a back rub from me, the girls showed them how to blow bubbles with a little container we brought with us, and we all played catch together.
We decided to get a sample of the water they drink, so we walked down to this small creek that is actually their main water source ... and it was disgusting. It was muddy and I could see bugs in it, so I couldn't even imagine how man water bugs were actually in it. So we got 2 water bottles full of their water to examine later. We left it on the steps of the orphanage ... and I watched as one of the kids was drinking from it. I didn't know what to do ... it's so unsafe for them to drink but then again that is what they drink every day. What is amazing is that by the end of the day, there was a clean water well on the property of the orphanage. And the kids got a playground, that will surely make it the "hot spot" with all the school children. And we decided to get Piregea some other essentials she requested such as a Bible, chalk, and a chalkboard.

The Story of Evis
Towards the end of our trip, we helped with an on-going ministry called The Widow Project. 20 of us headed about 1 hour outside of Hoima and split up into two teams. My team went to go help an older woman named Evis. Evis was such a sweet woman who lived on her own with her son staying with her ... sometimes. He will stay with her for a few days then go missing for weeks. And Evis' backyard was jungle ... with monkeys and all. So we got there, with 9 Ugandan men to add on to Evis' goat pen because she was given 2 new additions to her goat family. :)
We picked ground nuts with Evis as she told us how she would have to chase away the baboons that would tear up her gardens. We were told to watch out for black mambos (considered a 2-Step snake ... it bites you, you take 2 steps, you die) because they are prominent in that area. We attempted to carry jerry cans (water cans) on our heads ... I couldn't even lift it past my shoulders ... haha!
We then helped extend Evis' goat pen. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. All their resources to build this pen they got from what was around. They would hack down some bamboo , use vine to tie everything together, and mix dirt and water to fill in the walls. It was awesome (besides the fear of crazy worms that can sneak into your skin or under your nails and then grow in you ... ewwwww).
We only had a limited amount of time with Evis, so we ended up getting 3 of the walls built and then gave $ for her to get a tin roof put on.

The Story of Ester, Dorcas, and Lydia
These three women totally blew me away ... they were beautiful, strong, independent, and total rockstars when it came to children's ministry. These three women worked closely with our team that helped with the ministry Every Neighborhood Kid. This ministry was started by a guy on our team in 2005 and now has over 30,000 kids in weekly clubs to learn about Jesus' love for them and learn life skills. Rev. Lydia keeps those clubs semi-organized throughout the year for Therone and helps with training for all the leaders. Dorcas and Ester both work in children's ministry as well.
So what our team did was go around to schools and do some worship with the kids and then present the gospel (yes, we got to do all this in government aided schools). We got to watch these women lead the children in worship ... and it was the most beautiful thing ... you saw them dancing and raising their voices for the Lord. They quickly became my sisters. Dorcas and I would trade stories about America and Uganda. Ester would explain a lot about ministry to me. And Lydia was just a stud and she totally empowered me to be a woman in leadership.
Towards the end of the trip, Dorcas handmade me a dress, picking out the fabric that she imagined for me and gave me a matching necklace to go with it. Lydia became a total woman I look up to. Ester's knowledge and heart for ministry was such an encouragement. I pray for them every day ... and hope to be what they were to me to someone else in my life.

... stories to be continued

A Quick Report from Hoima

2008-06-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

It is amazing here ... I wish I had more words than that, but I am still processing it all. I have met the most amazing people ... true leaders that will change Uganda. I have bonded with the most amazing children. And the hotel staff could not be cooler (they are all in their 20s ... awesome!) I have seen monkeys, pigs, and goats everywhere. We have brought clean water to 2 villages, built 2 playgounds, taught water safety to 5 schools, provided glasses for over 200 men, provided bras for over 50 women, preached the gospel in over 25 schools, provided midwife care to women in labor, and so much more ... and we still have 3 days left serving.

I have 0 mosquito bites, 0 sickness symptoms, 1 sunburnt nose, new artwok, and plenty of new friends. Currently, my new friend Edward (from the hotel) is listening to Ben Hardt, The Pheonix Foundation, and Sufjan Stevens ... he's a big fan even though he keeps asking for hip-hop and boy bands!

I have been asking God what the people here really need and the role I play in that. They NEED clean water. They NEED health care. They NEED schooling for every child.

So where do I fit into that? God only knows ...

Plenty more to come later.

I get home Saturday around dinner. My phone will go on around noon on Saturday ... a little nervous for that one ... hello massive texts!!!

Please pray for the rest of our time here. Monday: building a playground at a handicapped home. Tuesday: spending a day in the life of a Ugandan student. Wednesday: building animal pens for the Widow Project. Thursday: Safari. Friday: Drive 5 hours to the airport and get on a plane at 10pm!!!

Also pray for Rehema and Sharon ... 2 young girls that were in dire need for surgery in Kempala. They left this morning. Rehema could potentially lose her left leg (thanks alot witch doctors who did more damage). Pray for successful surgeries for both girls.

Much love ... God is good.

A Crazy Weekend to A Day of Rest ...

2008-05-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend was insane. I felt like starting Friday afternoon ‘til this morning was a non-stop stream of events. As great as it all was, it was so nice to sleep in today and relax a little bit.

What I partook in this weekend in order:

Prince Caspian premiere
Uganda meeting
Babysit Caeden
Get a wedding present for Jenna and Sloan
See Ben Hardt in concert … so good!
Church – spring musical
College Ministry inaugural meeting
Volunteer Leader Celebration
Jenna and Sloan’s wedding
Slumber party with Liger

Yes … within 72 hours I accomplished all that! It was a lot but it really was all awesome stuff.

Today I was able to enjoy some time with my roommate. We had lunch at Panera (yay for asiago cheese bagels!), went shopping for digital cameras, and yelled at the Verizon guy for their lame $20 for unlimited text plan (yes, the poor man saw my wrath for a couple minutes … unfortunately, I backed down pretty quickly and still owe them $85 for last month’s bill).

I wish the weather would just get a little more gorgeous. I can appreciate a nice rainy day every once in awhile, but I hate that inbetween. I went to the park to read and release some stress on the swings. My original plan was to be there for a couple hours, but the clumps of rain clouds planning their attack were scattered through the sky and their warning winds were a little too much for me. So now my “Leanne” time has been moved indoors at Starbucks while my ipod charges so I can have it for the gym. And as much as I wanted to read today, I’m in a musical mood today so I am putting together some different mixes (one of my favorite things to do) … mixes for some of my students and mixes for myself.

The next couple weeks before I leave for Uganda (only 17 more days!) are going to be pretty insane. My intern, Ruthann, starts tomorrow. I’m stoked for her arrival but this will also be the first time I will have a full-time intern. But it’s great because she’ll be taking on a lot of my stuff while I am in Uganda. So lots of training will be happening. I also have to finalize all our plans for the summer and plan our week of summer camp. It’s our first time at this new camp so there’s a lot of details I’m realizing need to happen. And I still have a lot to do for Uganda like: buy a wardrobe at Goodwill, go the doctor, get anti-malaria pills, actually take my oral typhoid pills, keep learning runyuro, and manage to not forget the little details that need to be handled while I’m gone.

And people wonder why I’m calling this the Year of Chaos …

Stories and Visions ...

2008-05-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm currently curled up on the couch on this unusually chilly May day. The rain hasn't stopped since this morning and has deterred me from leaving the apartment. So here I am ... bored out of my mind ... and having way too much time to just think about things.

This past weekend brought so much of what's been going on in my life to the surface (you know ... all those things you try to shove deep down because you'd rather not deal with them). I went to this amazing women's event called isurrender yesterday. It was a beautiful time of worship (with The Sparks) that sent me to my knees in worship ... literally. Oh man, that time was so needed! I forgot how beautiful it was to get on my knees, bow to our Creator, give Him glory, and surrender all my crap. And they sang one of my all-time favorite songs (which I've never heard live) "Redeemed My Soul" by Enter the Worship Circle. Needless to say, the experience started off as true surrendering. Then they had a mother and daughter that had an absolutely phenomenal story that made every single woman in the room be so aware of God's presence. (For the family's story, watch the video below).

Things I got out of yesterday's event ... too many to tell, but I'll share a few. I've been holding on to certain areas of my life ... so fearful of what God may do with them. I started to surrender those areas yesterday. And lately, I've been falling back into some old habits that I just can't stand and have worked so hard to start fresh ... so I started to surrender those habits to God yesterday (Isaiah 43: 18-19). And I've never been one to rave about prophetic vision, but I had one yesterday (which was actually a continuation from a vision I had last Friday). I know that's ambiguous, but in 20 years, I will be able to tell you if God fulfilled that one (so let me know if you want an email in 20 years ... haha!). If God does fulfill it, all I have to say is my husband is going to be freaking awesome (at least his gifts, character, and wardrobe will be .... I don't know about anything else).

There was a time of journaling towards the end. Please note, I am obviously a "journal"er (hence my blogging which is normally excerpts of my journaling). But ink was just pouring out onto the pages and I had two pages written before even realizing I was writing. But I asked God to make me weak. It was one of those things that I wrote and looked at later cringing because I in no way doubt that God will take full advantage of that request! But when I thought about it, I feel like those times are the most amazing (and usually most difficult) because I can rely on nothing but God. And I tend to go on autopilot sometimes. It brings me back to my life verse: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me" (Gal. 2:20). All I want is for God to fill everything I am with everything He is.

Surrender ... the voluntary abandonment of a life. I have voluntarily abandoned my life to the One who created me and has a plan and purpose for my life. At the end of each day, as I die a little more to myself so that Christ may indwell me, may God smile when I ask Him if I fulfilled what He had for me that day. Because that is who I am ... I no longer live ... Christ lives in me.

My challenge to you: get on your knees and bow at the feet of God. Let His love cover you as you surrender to Him.

My Matrix Day ...

2008-04-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

Today has been strange all day. I feel like I'm in The Matrix ... some alternate universe ... where I don't feel like I am living my life. Am I the only one to ever feel like this? I have felt out of my skin all day and it's been one weird situation after another on a rainy day. I wish I could put into words exactly how this feels, but I'm not that creative. I'm just simple woman with simple words ... of a very not simple day.

After all that today brought, I realized my heart is continually aligning more with God's. The past few months have consisted of me asking God to align my heart with His and to break my heart over the things that break His. Today it happened. It's difficult though ... I feel like there's a certain responsibility that comes with being in tune with God. He allows those things to break your heart because He has a plan for you in that ... even if it's just lifting something up to Him with tears in your eyes because your heart is so broken. It reminds me of Nehemiah. In the first chapter of Nehemiah, he hears about Jerusalem being in ruins and how his people have been abandoned and he weeps ... he gets on his knees and weeps for God's people. He makes their problem (while he's working for the King) his problem. And what did he do? He left the palace, gathered the people, and rebuilt the wall! He acted on the things God laid on His heart.

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Spiderman

I'll be honest, I've never seen that movie, nor do I really want to. But I know this line from it. There's truth behind that. And when you align your heart with God's, oh man does it make everything you do seem so more relationally significant. You start to see past people's annoyance, ignorance, and arrogance ... you start to see brokenness, longing, meant for something more.

I'm almost regretting asking God to align my heart with His ... haha! Really, I'm not, but I didn't think it would truly raise my emotional awareness (and my tears). I can't just claim I don't like a person or they're not my "cup of tea" ... but I now need to be aware of opportunities God may put in front of me. I think that is why Peter writes, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have ..." (1 Peter 3:15). I truly believe when you understand God's love for you and all of humanity His truth will flow from you with gentleness and respect.

That's my new prayer ... May God's love overflow from my heart so that His agape love is seen in me and spoken by me with gentleness and respect.

Have an amazing weekend discovering God's love for you and letting it overflow to others.

...God is Love ...

Sunburn in Indiana

2008-04-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

I just got home ... tired and weary ... but in a good way.

It's been a few months since I've been able to get of Pittsburgh. It's hard to enjoy time off because usually I still run into someone I know, take phonecalls that make me think about work, or end up simply not resting. But this past weekend was exactly what I needed.

Of all places to run away to, I ended up in Indiana with Becca G. by my side. We traveled through gross rain in Ohio and swampville-USA in Indiana. But we were so blessed to get to Taylor Univ. and see the beloved Sissy (Amanda), Chey, and Connor. Before we got there, I thought it was going to boring and very chill. I was quite mistaken. Friday night we headed to my friend's concert that turned into an amazing time of air banding practice (Scrubs anyone?). Saturday I was introduced to Indiana sunshine, Ivanhoe's ice cream, and tasty Cheeseburgers at Paradise (Jimmy Buffet restaurant). Sunday I discovered that sunscreen never hurts in Indiana (now my face is bright red making my hair look uber-red ... fantastic) and that brownies need to cook in the oven longer than 20 minutes (granted ... we ate them raw because who wants to wait any longer for ghiradelli brownies .. honestly). And today we realized we made Maggie the Magellan GPS angry over the weekend because she made our trip back over an hour longer than it should've been.

So overall ... it was an amazing weekend of good friends, good food, and good music (we had some great jam sessions to The Format on the way home).

Something I realized is that I love learning about people's character and what makes them who they are. God has created me to be 110% relational. "Because how you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the Creator" - Rob Bell. Maybe that's why I am relational ... because I so admire God and His creation in different aspects.

Anyway, to all the amazing people I spent time with this weekend, thank you for being who you are!

I am off to the gym to work off the 1/2 lb. of cookie dough and raw brownie I ingested over the weekend ... :)

What a Blessing ...

2008-03-02T19:52:00.001-08:00

I just have to say what a blessing my students are!

Our leadership met earlier this evening and I don't think I've ever heard students really talk the way they did. We just finished Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution and had our final book discussion. They shared honest opinions about our culture, our brokenness, and our faith. The conversation got me fired up to see what they are going to do in the near future!

I fell in love with one of Shane's quotes: "To those communities that have severed themselves from the established church, please build a bridge, for the church needs your prophetic voice. ... If you have the gift of frustration and the deep sense that the world is a mess, thank God for that; not everyone has the gift of vision."

I saw that gift in our students tonight. They didn't just complain about their problems with the church. But they tried to talk out how to live out in joyful expectation of the future. Shane later writes, "And since we are people of expectation, we are so convinced that another world is coming that start living as if it were already here."

Oh man, the next generation is amazing!
I can do nothing but praise God for the work, the ministry, and the life I have!
What a great God!

1 Timothy 4:12 "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in faith, and in purity."

Fun in the Snow

2008-02-29T16:51:00.001-08:00

It was the first day I was home and awake for a beautiful snowfall. Although the roads were treacherous, my venture to the outdoors was well worth the risk!

Chelsey and I first met at Starbucks to spend some time sharing life with one another. What I love most about the time we spend together is that it is always a time of encouragement and laughter galore! Our Starbucks is small, so when we laugh, it reverberates throughout the entire place! And Starbucks (although I'd much rather support a local coffee shop) rearranged their furniture that made today a beautiful daydream for me. I sat there warming up with my mocha, sitting in one of their comfortable chairs, and looking out their huge wall of windows with the snow falling. I could've lived in that moment all day.

From that beauty I decided the temperature or sludgy roads wouldn't keep me from enjoying the beauty. So I headed up to Moon Park and sat in a pavillion. It was there that I just couldn't stop smiling. To look out and see this beautiful blanket of white ... what a beautiful God we have! If I weren't wearing my beat-up Chuck Ts I would've just started running through the fresh 6" of untouched snow.

What makes my snow day that much more amazing is I just downloaded Jon Foreman's winter ep a couple days ago and his song "White as Snow" is all I could think of. So there I was ... by myself in the middle of a park with snow covering me singing "Wash me white as snow / I will be made whole" What more could I ask for on my day off? I felt like Jesus when he would go to the mountainside alone to pray. After a week of little to no "Leanne" time, I finally had it. And who better to share it with than God Himself.

Go outside and enjoy God's beauty. May you be reminded of His love for you today and always. May He put a song in your heart that whispers His truth and love. And may you be in tune with all God is doing.

Breathing Redemption

2008-01-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today was an enjoybale day at Starbucks. It was my first day off in 2 weeks and so I was soaking in the smell of burnt coffee (as I drank my healthier option of an Odwalla), listening to Starbucks XM, and the silence that surrounded me. Of course it is never quiet in our Starbucks (probably one of the loudest places ever) but you know what I mean ... my brain finally tuned out of "my life" and tuned into God's.

In those moments, my journal is my best friend. To not hear my phone ringing or someone talking to me about budget allowed me to finally take a deep, refreshing, necessary breath. And then it started ... I just started to write. What I love about these moments for me is the fact that it helps me to reflect on the things I've been learning, what God has been challenging me in, and what I need to hand over to Him.

The month of February has been amazing and I didn't even realize it until I started to inscribe the pages with my favorite pen. I have finally discovered what it is like to realease God from the box I put Him in all too often. I'm able to hear laughter from a stranger and hear the joy of our God. It's been amazing to actually tune into God's song that we are all playing with Him. Psalm 150:6 is no longer a verse ... I see it coming alive around me! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! And in having this shift of reality take place, God's faithfulness shines through ... He isn't lying when he promises to never leave nor forsake us! This all leads me closer to His Word ... His truth that we amazingly can hold in our hands. Scripture is more and more opening my heart to God's characteristics... He is amazing!

It feels so restorative to let go of the little things I let hang over my head. Instead, to play along with God in this beautiful song makes me see reality at its most raw ... and its most redemptive and beautiful state. It gives me vision of the Kingdom.

Today I am breathing redemption.

Letting Go ...

2007-09-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time letting go. I don't know why, but I let things linger in front of me rather than letting go and finding freedom.

Sara Bareilles has a beautiful song called "Gravity." The whole song is about wanting to be set free from something you don't know is good or bad. It's like you're in a state of limbo. There's a weird draw to a situation but you know you don't want to be a part of it. She sings, "Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity... you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. All I know is that you're bringing me down."

So today, I was driving over to Crazy Mocha and was just desperately seeking the Lord... asking Him to release me from the chains I can't see that have encaptured me to be something I hate. What was great is that at that moment, I felt something different... I felt a wall actually crumble inside me. It was as if the bricks made up of lies and hatred and guilt and lack of worth were shattered for the first time in over 2 years. If you have never had an experience like this, seek it out with everything you are because it is amazing.

I forgot how much I struggled with feeling beautiful and feeling worthy. Self-worth is something every single person struggles with... it's like a cancer. It starts very small and then spreads; til you have nothing to appreciate about yourself. And for how much I struggle with this, I can't believe I have come this far in my own strength. In Rob Bell's book Sex.God. he writes, "Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with the honor and dignity that are yours, it forces the men around you to relate to you on more than just a flesh level...When you live in your true identity, when you find your worth and value in your Creator, when you live "in Christ," in who you really are, you force him to rethink what it means to be a man." I think that is what is so scary about being in relationships...

And I think this is why I've lacked any interest in being in a relationship for the past 5 years. Living in my true identity, which is "in Christ," is an intimidating factor to the men I surround myself with. And because this is intimidating, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Who would've thought that it is NOT me in the wrong? It is the fact that the aroma of Christ is "to the one the smell of death; to the other the fragrance of life" (2 Cor. 2:16)

To the men I know, this is for you: Find a woman that makes you rethink what it is to be a man of God because that it the type of man a godly woman wants. We want to be your support system, but we will refuse to settle for a man that doesn't seek challenge and seek growth.

It feels so good to let go.
It feels so good to be free.
It finally feels so good to be me.

My "Current Life" song is The Real Me by Natalie Grant... this is the only song I know by her, but I absolutely love it:

Foolish heart, looks like we're here again.
Same old game of plastic smile,
Don't let anybody in.
Hiding my heartache,
Will this glass house break?
How much will it take before I'm empty?
Do I let it show?
Does anybody know?

But You see the real me.
Hiding in my skin, broken from within.
Unveil me completely.
I'm loosening my grasp,
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause You see the real me.

Painted on, life is behind a mask,
Self-inflicted circus clown.
I'm tired of the song and dance,
Living a charade, always on parade.
What a mess I've made of my existence.
But You love me even now
And still I see somehow...

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When You look at me.
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life
Into a perfect tapestry.
Oh, I just wanna be me,
I wanna be me.

Just a Little Peace & Quiet Please ...

2007-08-20T18:42:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had a day where all you needed was some silence? A time where you didn't want to hear a single voice because you didn't want to respond, worry about something new, or even think?

Today was one of those kinds of days.

It was my day off today and I wanted nothing more than to curl up with a good book, block out anything that's been stirring around in my head, and just love the silence. Unfortunately, I realized that any time I would spend at home would be nothing but silence.

My poor mother misses me dearly. After being at Surf City for a week, then to Seattle, WA for a week, and then a busy week at work, my mother hasn't seen much of me. Hence it was a bad day to want silence.

Fortunately I found solace in the wonderful place known as Caribou Coffee! Since my local coffee shop shut down (unknown by me until today when I saw the windows covered... I leave for 2 weeks and this is what happens!). I grabbed a comfy chair with a little bear footrest and just imploded into my own little bubble for about 2 hours. It was AMAZING!

I kind of didn't want to go home after that because I enjoyed not having a single person talk to me. But lucky for me, my mom put on some program on CNN that talked about Sex, God, & Greed ... and since I just finished Rob Bells Sex. God. at Caribou today, it sparked some great conversation I otherwise would not have been in the mood for.

So now I am going to finish watching The Pick-Up Artist on VH1 (oh, I love VH1 shows!) Then I am starting my study on the book of Acts through the book The Dust Off Their Feet.

What's your current read???

Back From the Cheese State ...

2007-07-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in a state between complete exhaustion and overwhelming awe of the past week's events. Last Saturday, we traveled through the night to Baraboo, WI. Man, do I miss road trips ... waking up to the sunrise is on of the most refreshing feelings in the world for me. Traveling ... living out of your suitcase ... being in a different place every time you wake up ... I miss that lifestyle so much. Anyway, this past week was filled with some of the funniest and most intense moments as of late.

Camp Rev is always stressful. The amount of detail, from hotel information to communication with parents to advertising to finances, makes me want to rip my hair out. On top of everything, I just didn't feel ready to go. I felt as if I would be completely overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed ... but not by stress. I was overtaken by the way the Lord moved in our students, in our leadership, and how He broke me. My barriers just fell down, my heart was truly able to let go of a lot I've been dealing with lately. Every day, I would stand there in true awe and worship of our King. When we started out this week, I thought I would be stuck in a rut of empty meaningless words. But as the Lord broke down the walls around me, His wisdom flowed from my tongue. I could not be more grateful for that. Even the first night, God had knocked my skepticism out of the way. Our speaker for the week would say things that would be a direct word from God to someone in our group and I was thinking, "This must be of God because Robert doesn't know ANY of us". It was absolutely astounding.

Every day was more and more beautiful. Friendships flourished and fears were conquered. People would scale a rock wall while saying, "I can't do this." We had to learn how to work together while rafting and canoeing. And I once again was able to soak in God's creation. It was no Yosemite hiking, but it definitely was beautiful!

Ultimate Favorite Moment of the Week: I was able to lead our group through a time of "imaginative prayer", taking them to the Holy of Holies and being in the presence of God. This all took place while camping out near Green Bay, WI. Every time I would stop to give them a moment to reflect on a question, this amazing breeze would come in. God was sure to make Himself known ... that we could enter His presence ... and how beautiful it is when we do so.

Once again, the entire staff of Expeditions was phenomenal ... teaching us about trust and the beauty of what God created. Our house band, the Sidewalk Prophets, blew us all away. From unplugged sessions with just Dave and Ben with the staff in the mornings and a fulle band at night ... I will not only miss the music but also miss the guys of the group. They don't just come and play music, but they share in every experience we have at camp. And to the students that left work for a week and left their comfortable bed and nice warm showers, thank you. Thank you for reminding me of who God created me to be and why I do what I do (2 Corinthians 4).

Victory is Mine...

2007-07-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

I did it...

As many of you know, October 1, 2006 I began a quest. My quest was a to go with NO alcohol for 9 months. I quickly had to come up with "alternative" things to do. I had to watch friends shift and change because of my lifestyle changes. I saved a lot of money. I saved myself a lot of embarrassment. And with the recent chain of events, I probably would be an alcoholic if I didn't commit to this 9 month vow.

On July 1, 2007 - I succeeded! 9 Months after that crazy idea entered my mind, I did it. I overcame a bad habit that made me feel like a fool and walk away from the God I love.

I was able to celebrate with some homemade sangria with Deb and Jared Ott and Meg Weryha. It was a great time... and a glass of wine never tasted so good! I must say it is better to have small amounts of something amazing than have a lot of something so-so.

Don't expect me to get a drink everywhere I go.... drinks shall be saved for special occasions and only special occasions!

A Rough One...

2007-06-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Today was a rough day.

It was so rough.... but so redeeming. I can't really describe what my day was like or the situations that caused me to feel like I was getting punched in the face. But I have finally came to a realization that God was trying to draw me into for quite awhile now. I fail in trusting God with anything. Everything I take on, I take on myself. I don't trust God that He will prevail if we only give it over to Him.

I just need to sit here in silence. I need to be in the presence of God. I need to start making some bigger decisions about my character and about what I want God to do in me.... because I am not ok to do it alone.

May I find peace in the presence of the King. May my pride fall so I can see our reality and see God moving throughout it more clearly.

Rob Bell and Thomas a'Kempis

2007-05-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've been very excited lately for the sheer fact I finally finished a book on my own spare time and it only took me a week. That's the quickest I've read a book since the fall when I read on every flight in Europe. The book I quickly finished: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. I had heard people rave about this book and Rob's Nooma videos have always intrigued me. But this book threw new things my way that God used to just tear through my heart.

These past few months, I have completely lost my humility. I've forgotten about the little things my soul dreams about and gets filled by. I miss working with the homeless. I've forgotten how my heart cries for teenage parents and their children. My soul longs to work with the children that have lost hope in being part of a family.

I know these things will come in time but there's still things I can be doing now. ON top of Rob's words in his book, I began reading Thomas a'Kempis' Imitation of Christ and the 1st whole book was about humility and ACTING on what you claim! Both of these amazing men of God claim that the 1st century church really knew what they were doing! They didn't fight against the politicians or protest outside a building. They LOVED others. They fought for others through giving of themselves. What came from the 1st century church?... everyone's needs were met! How beautiful a world we would live in if that were how 21st century Christians lived!

So what do I plan to do about all this? I'm not quite sure... I'm still debunking all of it and seeking out answers from Daddy. But I do know this... I want to lose my pride. I want to put others before me and humble myself at the foot of the cross. I want to find joy in pouring into others' lives rather than spend more time on "how much $ we raised".

I want to love people. I want to provide for people. I want to give people a Jesus experience.

2 Strange Things...

2007-05-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Weirdest Store seen in Coraopolis (our little ghetto town outside of Pittsburgh): A Scuba Store! Someone actually put A LOT of $$$ into a Scuba equipment store in the middle of Pittsburgh.

Closest body of water: Ohio River.
Level of grossness of Ohio River: Very High on the scale...

Weirdest Person to Run into at the Coffeehouse: my chiropractor... and it seems to happen more often than not. But today it was especially weird because I am in line getting my coffe in a mug (which means I'm sticking around for awhile) at 8:20am. My appointment with Dr. Myers is at 8:30am. I turn around and there he is getting his coffee to go. I have to admit to him that I didn't call to say I'd be late, but I would be in at 10. Oops... my bad. And also... CREEPY!!!

The Reality of Change

2007-05-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

I always pictured life settling down after college. I would get comfortable in a great job, have the greatest friends ever, and out on my own discovering the "real world".

I have quickly come to realize that life does not work out that way. I feel that the past 2 years have held a lot more change than I would like. As friends move and I stay in the same place, the community I've held so dear is slowly starting to slip through my fingers. It's not that God has taken my community from me, but He's transitioning it. I don't spend time with the same people I did this time last year. I'm not as close with my the friends I would call "BFF". I'm working in the esame place with different people and with different responsibilities. I live in the same house with the same parents as always, but with a different feeling that now lingers through the rooms that says, "Something just doesn't feel the same." Maybe it's because of the illness or maybe it's broken relationships. But things have changed. Even the way I spend my time is drastically different. Ever since I stopped drinking I realized the joy of spending time with my family and the fact that there are other things to do in our city. As I prepare to turn 24, I wish I could say my energy is up, but I work myself to the core... something very different than where I was this time last year.

I think I am finally able to admit that I've changed. I am still a goofball and I still quote movie lines every 30 seconds... but I am different. I'm finally starting to see the beauty of where God has me and the fact that He does change things on me! Although I don't accept all the change with open arms, He continually teaches me with each new day.

Big "NEW"s

2007-04-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the update of the month... which appears to be my newest pattern of "blogging"... hey, it happens.

Alot has happened the past month. But where to start, I'm not quite sure. Ok, well we'll start with the calm before the storm...

About 3 weeks ago, after weeks of agonizing whether or not I would have to prepare my resume to send out in a couple months, my home church that I've been working at for the past year offered me a full-time, committed position.... and I took it! Super exciting that God has continually provided amazing positions for me. I am now the Coordinator of Student Ministries which means I do all things volunteer & intern related... I am totally loving it!

So after seeing the beauty of having a secure job, the time had come to purchase a new vehicle. And here he is (yes, it's a he):

Sydney "Whipsmart McCoy" Roland

He drives so smooth... has a sunroof that is GLORIOUS to keep open... and every time I hit a bump it doesn't sound like the back half of my car fell off. The gas mileage is awesome and the new car smell is an added bonus.

After the beauty of a new "pimpin" ride arrived in my driveway, the storm hit. And no, it wasn't "Weird Spring Snow Storm of 2007" but the life storm that will probably change a lot. Some family things dramatically changed within a weekend. Although God is using it for His glory, it has been an emotional rollercoaster for me... each day bringing something different. It has caused me to treat my family in a NEW way... a way I have been fearful to treat them because of my own insecurities. OUr family's lifestyle is NEW because we have never gone through something like this before (and believe me, we've gone through a lot).

So to add one last NEW thing for the month, I chopped my hair off. I wish I had a picture, but maybe I'll post one next time. So now my hair is about 4 inches shorter than it was when I woke up yesterday morning. My neck feels extremely naked. But hey, you know I can't stand the same haircut for longer than 6 months... so dadada! NEW HAIRCUT!

This summer is bringing a lot:

Camp Rev 2007!
Indianapolis Missions Trip
Surf City 2007!!! (a.k.a Fat Camp)
Geneva's Majorette Camp
vacationing in Seattle in August (my 1st ever paid vacation... so weird!)
AquaJam all summer long!

A Follw Up to the "Caution" post...

2007-03-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

So I realized what it was... I realized why I was so bothered about the tragic loss of the written word. Because for me, a little comment on myspace just isn't enough. How uch do we really care for people today? We're more excited that we have 200 friends on MySpace or are now "friends" on FaceBook with the hottie you always stared at in high school. We have begun a slow regression of caring for people. We continually have become more selfish in our wants, our relationships, our materials, and our time. We tend to have the friendships that are convenient to us. The friendships that take effort just tend to be placed on the back burner. I know I make that excuse all the time. I claim, "I get home too late to call anyone". Deep down inside, I know that I am lazy and don't want to really connect with people because it's EFFORT.

So I guess this all comes back to me... to the way I treat relationships with people in my life. I am a terrible friend when it comes to communication. I leave them a "once a month comment" to let them know I'm alive and perhaps get an update from them, but other than that, I tend to crawl into my little shell and hang out there until the next day's arrival of a busy schedule starts.

I claim to be pro-active... but I'm being choosy about being pro-active. I have chosen a small number of people to pour into. But I'm realizing that maybe there's a few in there I forgot about. And to those of you, I am so sorry.

PRO-ACTIVE IS THE NAME OF THE GAME

Caution: Contents May Be Very Hot

2007-03-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

I think we've all lost the beauty of the written word. I take that back... not everyone... but most of us really have. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter to simply say, "Hey, I'm thinking about you." We are now in a society where e-mail, instant messenger, and text messaging seem much more "comfortable" than up front conversation or taking the 30 minutes out of our day to brighten someone's else with a little piece of snail mail.

I'll be honest, I love receiving letters. I love the excitement of walking back to my room and seeing a few pieces of mail that aren't junk sitting next to my bedroom door. As I think about how I've been working on being Pro-Active about friendships in my life and pro-active about certain aspects of my life, I realized that people don't pick up on it. It's all about love languages. My love language is totally the written word. I love being blessed by a few treasured words. Why I have loved putting together my SMP scrapbook: because I was able to read through all my encouragements from that summer. I'm that person that has all the "Just thinking of you" cards in a box under their bed that occassionally comes out for a good laugh and tear from time to time. That is what makes my heart jump a little.

What is your love language? How may I bless you? BEcause I often assume that written word is how I Show love so people would receive it... but your love language may be different. What makes you feel loved? Is it touch? Or gifts? What about some quality time? Or maybe someone serving you in some way?

What makes you feel loved?

:::Oh, and be aware, that today's entry title is just off the side of my coffee cup. Nothing in this post was really "hot":::

Movie Review... a must read

2007-02-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

I witnessed something interesting and disturbing the other day. Meg brought over this independent movie starring one of our favorite but forgotten actors, Ethan Embry. It's called Pizza. The whole premise of the movie is about a pizza delivery guy taking pity on a lonely 18yr. old on her birthday.

As Meg and I curled up on my bed (no we didn't spoon... there was a body pillow as a buffer) and started this independent film about one of my favorite foods, she said, "It's sad, but this girl is like you and me combined." We watch the movie, almost peeing ourselves and pointing at one another through most of it, and I go, "By goodness, Meg is right!" Entangled in this obese 18 year old was the naivety, innocence, loneliness, and pure good ol' retardedness that form Meg, myself, and our friendship. Examples for you:

A Meg line: "Pizza: sustenance of youth, rite of teenage social bonding, and it's very tasty indeed."

A Leanne line: Matt Firenze: Be friendly. You got it?
Cara-Ethyl: I'll be an absolute prostitute.

A Meg line: "I think I would enjoy being an alcoholic! Very much so. A drinker and a libertine. Never in a relationship, but always in love. At church, they'd call me a whore. But I would fancy myself a spirited individual of grand appetites featuring roast duck, red wine, and well-shaped men." ***Note: Meg is not and will not become an alcoholic***

Seriously, this movie was so awkward to watch but I loved it. I recommend it if you're looking for an awkward night...

But for Meg and I, it was like any other day.

Now, I have to finish writing my article for next month's parent newsletter. It sounds like a bunch of words on a page that make NO sense. My ADD is not making this easy. Boo for too much sugar after dinner!!!

Goodnight and may God bless you with joy this week.

February is a good month...

2007-02-13T15:14:00.000-08:00

I just realized what a great month February is... except for Valentine's Day.

February has brought a lot of amazing things and enjoyable times with it. I guess the month just started off well because on the eve of February 1 (which would be Jan. 31 to all you readers) I got to see Jon McLaughlin. It was at that concert I was informed Brett Dennen was coming to Pittsburgh (exciting news in my world!). So last night, I was at the Brett Dennen concert to at one point be informed that Dave Barnes is coming to Pittsburgh (which is more exciting than Brett Dennen!)!!! So within a 40 day span, I will have witnessed my favorite musicians of the moment...

This is just so exciting! Especially since I've been out of the "live music" scene for quite some time. Fortunately, I've been blessed with a wonderful friend, Meg, who lets me drag her to all these concerts. She is such a great friend!!! One of our youth min. volunteers, Aimee, has been joining us for the recent journey as well. She's pretty awesome!

Also, as many of you know, my first nephew was born on Dec. 13! And when I say nephew, I mean one of my best friends had a baby. Caeden Josiah was born and has been a BLESSING to this world with his stinky butt and impressive vomiting techniques. He's finally starting to recognize me... he's starting to become more aware of his abilities... and he's not spitting up nearly as much.... and his poopy diapers are still few and far between (explosive... but still not every day). He has been such a blessing. I love him more and more every time I see him! He even got me a Valentine's Day card... he loves me.

As Valentine's Day approaches, life gets a little more depressing. It's not that I'm bitter towards all the happy couples out there. I think I just need to stop listening to Joshua Radin and Dave Barnes around this time. You hear all thes love songs and then it makes you pine for a relationship. I swear this is the one real time I think about relationships. The rest of my days are filled with thoughts of serving the Lord... seriously. It takes me back to the move Keeping the Faith. Edward Norton is talking about the vow of chastity and he says, "I don't really think about it anymore. I'm past that." That is my normal mindset. I'm so past the whole concept of relationships and marriage. But Valentine's Day just makes me want a relationship... or even a date... to just feel like semi-attracted. But this year, I did get asked out on a date... by Laura. Haha! I love her! We both think boys are missing out, so we figured to make ourselves unavailable to all the men chasing us and we'd be Valentines. I hope she doesn't expect flowers.. if she does, she's crazy.

Anyway, I started this Beth Moore study called Living Beyond Yourself. It is AMAZING. It's all about the fruits of the Spirit. It is majorly theological so it's a good depth for me. I am loving it so much so far. Woot! Yea for deepening my faith!

So there was my ramble for the month... enjoy

An Interesting Song ...

2007-01-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

So I found this song off of my favorite show, Scrubs. And I first listened to it and enjoyed the sound... then I listened to the lyrics and said to myself, "Yea... this will end up being my life, won't it." And then I think I heard God chuckle a little. You know that chuckle that adults do when kids say the darndest things (Bill Cosby anyone). God probably just hugged me and walked away chuckling.

So the first part of the song is my life in a nutshell... or what I could see as my life.

Good Life - Francis Dunnery

Softly Now, You owe it to the world

And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl

But there's some things in life that are not meant to be

I'm not meant for you and your not meant for me

Here's to our problems

And here's to our fights

Here's to our achings

And here's to you having a Good life

From Me

Good Life

Softer Now, You owe it to yourself

And don't think that you will be left on the shelf

Cause there's someone for you and there's someone for me

Like me you'll meet them eventually

Here's to your lover

And here's to my wife

Here's to your children and here's to you having a good life

From Me

Good Life

welcome to my life...

Loving Saturday afternoons and not loving anything else...

2006-12-30T12:32:00.000-08:00

My life is extremely hectic, and I am well aware of that. But isn't it wonderful to have something to look forward to every week. Every Saturday afternoon, I grab a booth in the relatively quiet Coffeehouse in Moon. There's normally no students here. Imogen Heap quietly plays in the background with an array of other indie artists. I am able to enjoy silence, read, update on here in peace, and the wieght of work is finally off my shoulders for a few short hours.

I am just able to forget about the week's worries, the stress, and what I didn't finish during the week and just Breathe. I'm not making a million trips to the printer, putting things away, staring at youth ministry websites, or planning one more event. Right now, it is only me. It is only Jesus. It is a time of truth. I lay here, spiritually naked, in this booth. I am pouring caffeine into my blood stream and finally allowing my soul to CRY OUT in godly sorrow and in joyous redemption all at the same time. The matter of the fact is that I am a wretched sinner. From my thoughts, to my words, to my actions, I am a sinner. When I think of my life, I wonder why I don't cry out for redemption more often. I save it for my Saturday afternoons. I sit here, contemplating life, remembering how I suck at life, and searching for God in my life.

Maybe it's in the little things. That's where God is found... in the little things. It's not in the grandeous ideas I come up with, and it's not that I am perfect. It's in the little things like encouraging someone you don't know... reminding someone they're loved without inviting them to church, or serving someone annymously so that they praise God and no one else. Or maybe it's in a smile... or letting them pull out in front of you in the middle of traffic... what about being real in a moment of genuine community... or being real with your brokenness and finally admitting it.

I watched the movie The Last Kiss the other night with Meg. After being a bit disturbed abotu the gratutious sex scenes, I saw the depth and raw emotion in the movie. I hate the concept we have created about love. God-love is amazing and I want to feel it being poured into me all the time and I want to pour it on others all the time. But society-love is a mess. I cry out to God for His love, but I want nothing to do with human love or human interaction. I want to seclude myself into a room and just sit in God's presence all day long. But when it comes to loving another person, I can't do it. Society has fed me bull when it comes to love. I have never experienced real love ... ever. I thought I had once, and I was wrong. I thought it was healthy and real and genuine and godly ... just to find it was self-seeking, physical, and God was no part of it.

So where do these two mesh together? I am so scared to be in a relationship in the fear of commitment, being faithful, and simply trusting. Yet I trust my God with everything... I see Him working, I try to be a vessel for His work and His love. Why am I so damaged? I am sure marriage is great, but I want no part of it. I would rather feel no human love than to walk away from the God-love that fills me.

But I'm reading this book entitled Soul Cravings by Erwin Raphael McMannus. His entire first third of the book is about love. Maybe there is a blur between the two loves. Or maybe there's a third love that is God-love put into human-love. If so, I hope I can see what that looks like. I hope I can experience it.

Maybe my heart is still broken... maybe I am still in recovery from years of hurt and destruction. Maybe my lash-outs with relationships are a defense mechanism that Satan feeds me telling me it's ok. Well, it's not ok anymore.

God pour Your love and fill my cup. Never leave me wondering where Your love efor me and for the world is. Help me to pour from my cup to fill others'.

New Seasons and Christmas galore

2006-12-10T14:06:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season has officially taken over my life. I am spending all my money, spare time, and gas on finding the "perfect gifts" for everyone on my list. Why my shopping list is so large this year, I'll never know. All I know is that I've never bought this many gifts at one time ever in my life! Personally, I place it on all the staff/ministry Christmas parties I have to attend (if you're wondering how many, 6 + 2 other parties unrelated to ministry). Everyone wants white elephant gifts brought. To be honest, that is no fun. I think that is the stupidest thing. Certain gifts get built up like they're going to be something amazing, and then you just find that it is some crappy, useless things bought from the Thrift Store. That is just the start to a "pack rat" lifestyle. You feel guilty throwing it away, so you keep it. Times that by 6 parties ... you see where I am going with this, I'm sure.

Also, I am currnetly missing my usual table in the Moon Coffeehouse. Instead, I am sitting in a freezing cold Crazy Mocha coffeehouse. It's just not the same. :(

The first snow of the season came last Thursday. It was so refreshing and beautiful. We had flurries all day and then I hop in my car to head north a bit to meet with Caitlin. Next thing I know, I'm driving through the frozen tundra, attempting to peer through the white blanket of snow that appeared as if it weighed 100tons the way it fell so quickly. It wasn't fun to drive in, but it sure was beautiful. As I realized we really were entering a new season, I took the time to think about the season of life I'm in now...

This new job has made me realize the deep emotion and spiritual reality of ministry. I've opened my eyes to see everything day in and day out. I wonder why I'm so tired and why I have reverted back to my intravert ways ... but life is exhausting. Everything going on in life, I have found some sick comfort in complaining. I have found things to whine about, asked a lot of questions over why certain things are happening ... but then I saw I wasn't doing anything about any situation. I finally decided on a word for this new season: PRO-ACTIVE. I'm exhausted from the whining. I want to be rejuvenated by watching God move in mighty ways through relationships I work on and situations I am put in. I want to be pro-active about building solid friendships instead of complaining that I have no real community. I want to work hard at my ministry and work with joyful expectation of the great things that will happen. I want to be pro-active about the social issues that lay in the deepest of who I am. I want to live out the faith I so boldly speak about. I want to have a love of life that is proved true through who I am and how I live.

The Art of Breathing ...

2006-12-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I was introduced to a new concept. Have you ever thought of your breathing? Just stop ... breathe in ... breathe out ... as you do so, know that you are speaking the name of God. The original text in which the name Yahweh was written actually didn't make sense. It didn't form any specific word. It was just a group of vowel sounds put together. Now breathe this... Yah Heh Veh Heh. We breathe the name of God. Those that know Christ, those that don't, animals domestic and wild, the plants of the earth. We all literally breath the name of God. Yea, I've thought about breath in a spiritual sense. But never did I realize we literally breathe God's name. New life begins with a breath, and we take a final breath before death. The Holy Spirit moved mightily this weekend. And it didn't stop there, but God was working even when we got home. True community took place, healing had begun, Christ was known for the first time for someone, patience was rewarded, and God was evident everywhere I turned.

Thank you, Lord, for being so real, so near, and so involved with our lives.

Another thing I was convicted with was prayer. I do not spend enough time in prayer each and every day. I don't pray for the small things or big things. I roll with feelings but I rarely sit in silence, listen to my breath, and pray with joyful expectation to the God of the impossible. And I don't encourage others to pray alongside me. How have I forgotten the reality of powerful prayer. So I ask you to pray with me:

Some prayer requests:
- my cousin, Jacob(12 yrs.old), was involved in a hunting accident --> brain swelling, unstable, in a coma, will be in the hospital up to 6 weeks
- the Boody family --> their son, Ryan, was an old classmate of mine, and was found dead in New York ... no clue how he got to N.Y. and how he died
- All the community that took place at J-Town isn't suppressed but very alive and spread to those who weren't at J-Town.
- That I will continue to breathe for God ... and praise His name.

The lesson on Breath was brought by Rob Bell's Nooma #14 video.

Complacency No More ...

2006-11-05T15:57:00.000-08:00

Can't close my eyes
They're wide awake
Every hair on my body
has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me

It can not be any more beautiful - I can't take it in.

Weightless in love...unraveling
For all that's to come
and all that's ever been
We're back to the board
with every shade under the sun
Let's make it a good one

It can not be any more beautiful. I can't take it in.

Can't Take It In - Imogen Heap

This song is probably my favorite song of the moment... perhaps due to the fact that it's from one of my all-time favorite movies, Narnia, but other than that the song is simply beautiful. I want to rest in God's beauty... I want to be overwhelmed by it. Instead, I sit here with all my technology, find devotions online, listen to music while I read, and sip on just enough espresso to get me through the day. What has become of us? We are living lives of complacency. I sit here.

I wonder hwo God feels that we take for granted our very own lives every day, expecting more of a miracle. I'm reminded of a scene from Family Guy where Peter films a plastic bag flying through the wind and God yells down to him, "It's a bag! Take a look at your circulatory system!" There is beauty awaiting us when we reach our Father... a beauty that is indescribable, beyond beautiful, and unlike anything our human minds could ever imgaine. But God has also surrounded us with a beauty that we can comprehend... that we can soak in. From the massive ocean and all it holds, down to the fact that I don't have to think about breathing but it simply happens. How beautiful is our God.

I want to have a thing for the beauty God has surrounded us with. I want to see God in things, big and small. I want to find beauty in the breath I take. I want to find beauty sitting on a mountain top. May my "thin place" not just be at the spots I love like Yosemite or the Pacific Ocean (since I'm on the wrong side of the country for that), but may I find "thin places" in my office, here at the Coffeehouse, when I am surrounded by hundreds of middle school students, and when I am lying in bed.

Father,
Empty my heart so that I can make room for You... for Your beauty.
Take away my self-centeredness and clear my thoughts to be open to hear Your voice.
You truly are the Alpha and Omega. You have done so much and will do so much more.
Be evident in my life. Whether I am joyful or sad, may I represent You. May I be Your ambassador.
Forgive me for my selfish heart and cleanse me of my sin. May I live through Your love and rid my sin.
May my eyes stay awake to see You. May every hair on my body have a thing for Your holiness.
You are holy. I love you. And I know You love me.
Wrap Your arms around me.
Shelter me. Rescue Me.
Love me.

Looking into the Future ...

2006-10-29T20:14:00.000-08:00

For many of you, you know that I have recently become joyful and content in my singleness. I have come to see the awesome life lived when you're single. Not that I disagree with relationships, are bitter towards those in them, or plan to stay single forever ... I just see that there is so much richness in single living. It is such a time to focus on Christ's calling in your life and living out the service placed in front of you to build the Kingdom. Of course I believe that these things are still reachable in marriage, but it is in a different sense.

Today was a little different. I was in my car, enjoying the soothing sounds of Ray Lamontagne and realized, "I would love to dance to this at my wedding." Once again, if you know me, you know that wedding details are never on the forefront of my mind. So to hear one simple, beautiful song and to automatically connect it to my wedding is a big deal.

I hate having those thoughts though. It causes you to look around at the people surrounding you, thinking, "Perhaps one of them is The One." Meanwhile, I start to forget that peace and joy that God has given me in my singleness.

Am I really ready to date... probably not. Is there someone even interested in dating me... probably not. Is that ok with me... ABSOLUTELY! Do I love being single... heck yes, I do! Do I think I'll ever get married... who cares. All that matters is that every day is lived through the love God has for me and the love He has for His creation. Anything else that happens to my life is just a blessing that I am unworthy of but am treated like the Prodigal Son's return...

What a great God we have.

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever

- Hold You in my Arms Ray Lamontagne

Some more fun pictures

2006-10-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Here are some more pictures from the past couple months.

This is Jess and I in Ireland for my birthday. We went to the infamous Temple Bar... I don't think it was all people made it out to be though.

This is my little brother, Ben, and I at the zoo... that fish was big and grotesque. Hence the, "Oh my goodness" faces! Isn't he so cute!

The goofball brothers! Ben and Sam were so goofy in the car on the way home. That was the sugar rush... 5 minutes later, the sugar crash definitely reared its ugly head.

The Long-Awaited Pictures from Around the World

2006-09-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Here they are folks... pictures from Europe and my visit to Minnesota. I realize Minnesota isn't that exciting, but it aws for me... I love my friends! So here it goes:

Haha! Here is Jess asleep in Shakespeare's Globe Theater... this picture always makes me laugh... HAHA!

Dublin Castle... I loved this place

My dear friend, Dan and I, in Minnesota. Both of us... early in the morning... no showers... welcome to the best picture ever...

GOOD MORNING MINNESOTA!

My favorite photo from the wedding... Debra and Nate... she looked absolutely radiant and he looked at her like she was the only person in the room. It was the most amazing wedding I've ever attended.

Ciao Italia! Yay for Roma! It was beautiful but disgusting. I loved Ireland, but I wasn't sure what I thought of Rome. My heart cried more for the people and the culture then I actually enjoyed the touristy stuff.

This was in one of the cathedrals we went to... and I fell in love with it... One simple, beautiful, small tapestry on a doorway speaks such truth.

Alright, that's all for now! I have to get on my way to work. No I'm not being lazy, but I just wanted to post these for all you anxious folks wanting to hear about my trip!

LoveLoveLove

"My name is Amber Atkins and I'm from Mount Rose, Minesota..." I love Minnesota!

2006-09-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the Twin Cities. I'm currently locked up in the basement of the youth leadership center at North Central University while my friend, Lauren, has a meeting. It's pretty sweet.. very relaxing and calm. Anything but what the past 2 weeks were like!

The last leg of our trip:

We fly in from Italy and headed straight to Oxford, England to stay with Jess' friend, Anna. We had a total blast and I would move to Oxford in a minute... not a second... but definitely a minute. I got to visit Oxford University. One of their branches, Christ Church, is where Harry Potter was filmed, so we got to go explore and see all of that fun stuff! It was crazy... I'll post a picture of how they ate every meal... it blew me away compared to the crud served in our colleges over here! I did plenty of shopping (maybe too much, but it was vacation, right?) and even got to head to my favorite store, LUSH. So I loaded up on shampoo and shower cream to make my shower time when I ge thome that much more of a pleasurable experience (where I don't have to wear shower shoes.. wootwoot).

We headed to the Airport on Friday morning, and we are glad we did! The security equipment had broken down earlier that morning, so security lines were ridiculous, so we found a secret line to go through! They had 3 security checks... one before you even checked in your bags, a 2nd where they normally are, and a 3rd (a full-on frisking) when you entered your gate. They loaded us on, things were looking good, and then we ended up sitting on the plane for 2 hours, not leaving the airport... all because of the storms in the Midwest of the good ol' USA. We ended up reaching Newark Airport around 5:30 pm and I had to be back at my other gate to fly to Minnesota because it left at 6:50! So I was running around, getting lost in the airport... and then I made it through security within 5 minutes and was at my gate, ready to go with time to spare. And then it started... we got delayed until 7:15, then 8:00, then 9:00! So everyone goes to get dinner, and halfway through the meal at 8:20, they start boarding the plane! So we board... and then we just park near the runway for AN HOUR! How stupid! So I finally made it to Minnesota at 12am, keeping Lauren awake and driving around until I got there.

Saturday, we woke up early, did some laundry, and got ready for Debra's wedding. It was an absolutely lovely wedding! IT was like no other wedding I've been to before! It wasn't just a bunch of traditional pieces in the ceremony. There was purpose and a piece of them in every aspect of the ceremony! Nate played Debra a song on his ukalaylee. Debra had flowers in her hair. The band sang Iron & Wine songs. The band had a banjo and accordian. And part of their vows were, "I will never divorce you". I absolutely loved it!!! Everyone was laughing, smiling, and celebrating with the happy couple! We loved it! And the food was EXCELLENT! After the wedding, the girls (Jenni, Jenny, and Lauren) all treated me on a night out for my birthday! We saw The Illusionist, which was a great movie! I ate Johnny Rockets AND Coldstone cake batter icecream (wootwoot)... it was the best thing to come home to!

Sunday was a relaxing touristy day in Minneapolis. We walked around, admired the buildings, Jenni took 300 pictures, and I found my new favorite place of all times, the Guthrie Theater. The architecture and design of this building was CRAZY! We took so many neat pictures, I can't wait to get them from Jenni and I'll post some of them! Then we went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner and said goodbye to Jenni as she flew back to CA. :( Lauren and I watched some of season 2 of The Office and called in for an early night.

Today... was relaxing. I watched all of Season 2 of the Office, Lauren took me for some mexican food at Chipotle, we walked around some more, and now I'm waiting for her to finish her meeting. Later tonight, Dan and I are hanging out which is a total blessing because I miss the guy like crazy, and I never see him on a normal basis anyway.

I fly back tomorrow and can't wait to be back in my own bed! I'll post pictures by the weekend.

LoveLoveLove

Italia and heading home

2006-09-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

We've been in Rome now for 2 days and i have absolutely loved it. The city = awesome... our hostel = suckiness! We've hated where we are staying... theyàve been rude, made us switch rooms, and completely unhelpful when it comes to the basics of Rome.

The city is absolutely gorgeous beside the smell of poo down the streets. Seeing all the old Roman architecture, sculptures, and paintings have been a dream for me. We went to the Colloseum (didn't head insid ebecause of costs), Roman Forum (amazing!), Paul's Prison (i just wanted to weep for our world... I did weep), vatican City/Sistine Chapel (I had a strange feeling of hope and fear all at the same time... I'll write more about that later), and to the Piazza de Republicca for dinner.

The italian food has been to die for. I really almost died for it by getting hit crossing the roads! The best was this little pizzeria in Anagnina... AMAZING PIZZA! I've never had anything like that in my life! We've gotten food from street vendors, the best gelati in the city outside of the Vatican, and a great dinner at a little ristorante in a back alley. So overall, I'm delighted with the food.

Our roommates in the hostel were amazing... we bought some alcohol last night, plated Blackjack and 500 and had ourselves a good ol' time. We had 3 from canada, 1 from Australia, 1 from Ireland, and 1 from London. So everyone spoke English and we were of course the life of the party! It was great talking with people and we were sad when the hostel made us switch rooms this morning (because we're paying for a 6 person so they want us to get our money's worth.. but we didn't want to leave Carlo and the girls). We also met an amazing couple on the streets back from dinner this evening. We started talking about the tours, they said they were Catholic, they asked us if we were Mormon, and then we were able to share our faith, pray for them, and have an awesome moment. So keep Susan and Vince (and their daughter) in your prayers. they were so sweet! But Vince struggles with arthritis in his legs so he is struggling getting around places.

Anyway, I have a limited time on the internet because this hostel sucks. I love you all and miss you dearly. I will be back inthe States on Friday.... LOVE YOU! CALL ME!!!!

We'll be heading back to England tomorrow... Oxford to be exact. We've spent most of our money, so we're on limited resources until we get back to the States.

Our Time in Dublin

2006-09-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

Ireland has been simply awesome! Within our 60 hours of being here, we've managed to see just about all of Dublin, so obviously we kept ourselves pretty busy! We arrived Thursday night just in time for a nice dinner and some drinks at the posh Fitzsimon's Temple Bar about 3 blocks away from our hostel. Everyone was very nice and they forced me to stay until midnight so that way they could wish me a Happy birthday!

Friday was a GREAT birthday!!! We started pretty early with a visit to Dublin Castle where I took a million pictures. It was absolutely delightful wit ha ton of history. I walked where so many kings and presidents of Ireland walked... it's awesome! We were able to touch the remains of one part of the castle that was built in 1042.... how amazing is that!!!! We then headed to the cathedrals. We started at Christ Church Cathedral that absolutely blew my mind away. built in the 11th century and it was amazing to feel God and to read what He had done with people there for so many years. It definitely was a holy and beautiful place. Then we headed to St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a bit smaller, but still filled with a load of history. So of course, I was soaking it all in... every step held importance and a sense of God's greatness. After that we just headed back for a nap and got ready for my BIRTHDAY DINNER! we found a great little Cafe where we had a full meal! We then headed back down to Fitzsimons for a couple drinks and then headed to Bad Bob's Bar... it wasn't all the impressive. And the dancing here is definitely different! I received quite a few kisses on the cheek for my birthday... that was different... we all know Leanne isn't used to that! Then I was able to call home and chat with my mum for a few short minutes.

Today we just packed up and did a couple little things we saved as a "If we have time to" type of deal. We started out at Trinity College which is the biggest university in all of Ireland. It was extremely beautiful. It started as a monastery and just flourished and transformed into a beauitful campus. Then we headed to the Museum of photographic art. It was all pictures from between 1870s and 1920s. Very interesting photos that gave a great insight to the culture of the day. It was small but beautiful. Lastly we headed to the Chester Beatty Library that I absolutely loved! It had manuscripts of Scripture from 150-250 AD.... amazing! Don't worry, I bought postcards since I couldn't take pictures of it! Staring at these documents taht were written only 100 years after Christ's life blows my mind! They had pieces from a few of Paul's letters and a couple of the gospels. I actually started to tear up because you feel such a connection with Christ as you stare at those! We then just got hopped up on sugar and are back at the hostel waiting to pick up our bus and head back to England for the night.

Coming up...
We head to Italy tomorrow evening and will spend Sunday through Thursday in Rome. I can't wait!
We'll spend thursday in Oxford before we fly back to Newark on Friday.
then I will be heading to Minnesota for Debra and Nate's wedding... woot!

Things I bought:
Ireland track jackets (yes that is plural)
hat
scarf
Christmas ornament
and tiny but awesome stuff!

Keep in mind, it's not all for me! I'm not that selfish!

LoveLoveLove!

Pictures to come soon hopefully!

Pictures and Our Time in Coventry and Sheffield

2006-09-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

Our time in Coventry went fast, but it was a blast! I spread out the new phrase, "I'm gonna throw it out there. If you don't like it, you can send it right back." See, I knew we would leave a mark on England somehow. :) Tuesday was spent sleeping in 'til 1pm and then grabbing lunch at a local indie music pub. I ate more than enough burger and then we got the quick tour of "one of the ugliest cities in the U.K." (that is a direct quote from a Coventry resident!). We headed back to the house, watched Monthy Python, and got picked up by the insane Alex for dinner at their place. We had delicious fajitas, cheap wine, and a lot of laughs.

This morning we hopped on a train for a 2 hour ride to Sheffield where Jess' friend Tchad picked us up. He quickly gave us a tour of his house and then left us alone for the afternoon. We walked down the main strip a couple times looking for something to eat (all there was was Fish and Chips and after what I heard, I can't bear to eat it) until we found this AMAZING little panini and coffee shop. It was absolutely lovely and I had the best mocha latte ever in my life! Then we spent the rest of the evening with Tchad, his wife Andrea, and their 5 month old son Isaac, enjoyed a great homemade meal, and then babysitting time! Isaac has been a sleep so Jess and I just watched some Grey's Anatomy and decided to update!

Tomorrow we are heading to a little teaching with some university students on boundaries and then head to the East Midlands Airport to fly to Dublin!!!! I can't wait! IT's going to be wicked! (Notice my new Englsih vocebulary).

Here are some pictures:
Buckingham Palace... beautiful and huge!

Jess and I at Buckingham PAlace... can you tell we're exhausted???

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre... the whole design was interesting how they deisgned everything to represent heaven, earth, and hell.

The countrside of Sheffield. This is from Tchad and Andrea's street.... beautiful, isn't it?

More updates later... love love love!

WE MADE IT TO LONDON!!!

2006-09-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

Greetings from "Foggy London Town"!

Jess and I had a crazy weekend with her graduation and then headed straight tto the airport, go through tons of security, moved gates, and watched some football until we loaded on the plane. It wasn't a full flight, but enough to where we weren't really able to stretch out much. But it came at a perfect time... we both slept for about 4 hours of the flight, helping us to adjust to the time difference quite easily.

Within my first 30 minutes in London I experiences the train, London streets & traffic, and a man publicly urinating in one of the underground walkways.... SKETCHY! But he had a pretty good flow going so I have to give him props... but since he did it publicly, he lost the points pretty quickly.

We slowly (and I mean slowly) made our way to Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Shakespeare's Globe, and of course for my first meal in the UK we ate at McDonalds. I know I know... blame me for being a picky eater, but I promise it was simply cheap and was 1 of 2 places in the area to eat. So we went for cheap since train costs are so much.

Forunately we were able to leave our luggage at the train station so I wasn't carrying that backpack on my back the whole time. We're both exhausted (Jess fell asleep in shakespeare's Globe... I got a picture, don't worry!) so we'll be heading on a bus and up to Coventry to spend the night with Jess' friends Alex, Jon, and Anna. We'll probably do some shopping tomorrow (but not much since it is BEYOND expensive here) and maybe go see a movie.

Fun fact of the day: I learned how to say "I want to make love to you" in Italian... Voglio fare l'amore con te. I'm so smart! And I'm sure I'll be using that phrase a lot... just kidding!!!! But I did purchase an Italian phrasebook and that is one of the phrases in there. I'm sorry I can't post pictures right now... "no downloads" is the rule at this cafe.

We are looking forward to seeing Jess' friends and just sleeping in tomorrow! At least we're are doing alright with the time change thus far.

I'll try to post some pictures in the next couple days... until then, please pray for all our travels (lots of bus and train rides) and that we can catch up on rest and really take in t his time here rather than feel rushed and exhausted.

p.s. I LOVE THE ACCENTS!!!! I feel like I'm in National Lampoon's European Vacation!

MISS YOU!!!!!

Keep checking back for updates.... XOXO

Looking Forward to September...

2006-08-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Normally, September was a time to look forward to starting new classes, loads of homework, my birthday, and not much else. I am happy to announce that this September is different. Most of you know I'm a pretty cautious person. Although I take risks in my faith journey, when it comes to spare of the moment things or learning a new language, I normally just think it's a good idea and never act. Well, I've broken many boundaries I've set when it comes to my life. Let me give you the list of this month:

I'm spending a weekend in New York City
I am traveling to England, Ireland, and Italy
I'm spending my birthday in Ireland.. Irish pubs, here I come!
I am going to Minnesota for Debra's wedding and seeing my wonderful man, Dan
I am jobless
I have no income... but still know God will provide enough for me to have a blast while away and to still pay my bills.

Overall, the month of September is going to be freaking sweet! What better way to walk in to my 23rd year of life on this earth than to spend it in a different country where accents are hot! And then to get to go to my favorite state (once again, it's my favorite due to the accents).

On the job front: nothing new. My last post was a preemptive post that has since been a bust. Actually, I chose to make it a bust. I'm trying to figure out what God is doing in my heart. This concept of longevity in ministry has been taking over my thoughts. So where does He want me? Who knows... hopefully He'll answer that soon though. Otherwise, I'll apply to work here at the Coffeehouse and look for jobs in Seattle until Amanda is done in Disneyworld. I love this coffeeshop. All these high school and middle school students come here every day after school... talk about a great way to connect with them and feed them Truth.

Currently: I am alone in the Coffeehouse... literally... alone. The only lady working is outside with all the crazy middle school kids that were in desperate need of a cigarette. I witnessed a middle school couple making out on the couch to the left of me. It grossed me out and then I thought, "Man, at one point I'm sure I did that... I must've grossed people out.. EWWW"... dang, am I glad I chose to be single!

I'm reading this book right now called SoulVirgins. It's a great book so far. I've read so many books about purity and singleness and dating. This book takes it further. It doesn't say, "Stay pure because God calls us to purity". It says, "It's hard but when you focus on God's love and realize that it's not just physical, it changes your desires." It talks about the solid foundation found in the Father and the importance of healthy friendships with the opposite sex as a part of keeping your mind clear to focus on Christ.

I'm also reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. I'm about 1/2 the way through it and continue to highlight things on each page. Whenever my children see this book, they'll think I was obssessed with fun pens or something. But this book strikes the heart of all humans. You stop and look inside yourself and see the poor orphan child you began as and then you see the battle wounds that God has given you so that you may choose to fight for His glory as a wounded healer. I love being a ragamuffin.

I feel like this picture is how I feel sometimes. I dress like who I want to be but inside I'm just a goofball with a naive living. But God continues to parent us... He still lets us stick out our tongues every once in awhile amidst the busyness of being an adult.

***The little boys in this picture are my little "brothers". Sam is in the black fireman costume, Ben is in the red, and Wes is the SWAT team. They are awesome and I just adore them... and spoil them!!!

Quick Update...

2006-07-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

For those few of you reading my blogs, big things are happening with the job situation. I will be leaving Pittsburgh... more details to follow.

Jesus Rocks

Twentysomethings and True Love

2006-07-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

I went to get the mail the other day and about peed myself when I looked at the one item addressed to me. In that "cool" squiggly WordArt, it read, "Twenty-Thirty-Something GetTogether"... ha! I had to laugh... I couldn't express my feelings in any other way. I guess I'm not a young adult or a career person (well, since I don't have a career I guess I still wouldn't be labeled that). But instead, I'm being lumped in with people who have spent 10-15 years in a career... people who are probably longing for marriage... and people who I would consider to be an actual ADULT in my life. Now how does that really make sense? You're right... it doesn't. Now I am having to spend my free time with married couples and the "career folk"... where are all the people out there crying for people their own age to connect with. WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

On another note, I was talking about love to a friend of mine today. After talking about the boys we pine over and long to be around, she said something profound. She asked, "Why can't we just move there and propose to them." She wasn't joking either, which is what I love about the statement/thought/question. Everyone has that one special friend that they consider their soulmate. It's as if we blind ourselves to the obvious and go for the challenges. Not me! I want the obvious. I wish I had the nerve to go up to the man of my dreams and say, "You know we should get married, right?" and then for him to say, "You're right, Leanne." and then we'll get married on top of a mountain! There will be flutes playing and we will dance until the sun comes down. Then our children will form a family band and we will travel around the country... ... Or we'll just move to CA and be an awesome ministry powerhouse couple. I don't know... but I wish I knew God's thoughts sometimes. Why wait around and be tortured by the pining and waiting. Just get it over with and love your soulmate with all you are.

If only love and life were that simple.

So instead of living a Life for Love. I will live a Love for Life.

A New Perspective...

2006-05-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

I've been noticing more beautiful skies in Pittsburgh lately. As most of you know, I am not very fond of Pittsburgh (except for the Steelers), so for me to admire the beauty of Pittsburgh is quite an accomplishment. All this time that I have been stuck in Pittsburgh begging God to get me out, He was teaching me to see Him everywhere in every way possible. Yet still I struggle...

It's as if I'm stuck in some sort of BlackHole when I'm here. There is this lifestyle and laziness that calls my name while I dream of better things for my life. Why is it that Satan has a stronghold on my life when I am here. Why am I prone to act a certain way, say certain things, and be a certain person when I am here, yet anywhere else I feel the freedom to be myself. I fall into this disturbing culture that I despise all too much...

We live in a culture that has become so selfish and self-absorbing. I see countless ads for sleep medication and herpes treatment. We have lost any fear that has existed throughout time. We no longer fear a mighty and powerful God. We slightly fear disease, but sleep well at night with the mentality that it could never happen to me. We argue that marijuana is safer than alcohol and claim that it just takes the edge off. AIDS isn't a result of sleeping with too many people, but it's a sad "life threatening disease that happens to innocent people". We pump our bodies with nitrates, preservatives, and other carcinogens and then question why cancer has spread so rapidly. We allow other countries' economies to suffer so that we can all dress in the season's latest fashions (which normally suck anyway... and the fashion trend you just gave to goodwill two months ago finally comes back into style...). We are killing God's creation to build more luxury townhouses while nice homes stay on the market for months because it needs a special touch from its next owner.

HOW DO WE LIVE LIKE THIS AND BE OKAY WITH IT?

How do I, a lover of the Creator of all things, live like this and be okay with it? How do I sit in the comfort of my house, lying on the couch all day on my day off and be content with my life? Something has struck me... God has struck me. He has struck my with a new perspective... a new lens in which to view the things going on around me. And no, I will not just be satisfied with the fact that I am having these thoughts. And no I will not be satisfied by giving some money to some awesome ministry. I want to be the ministry. I want to live a life that forsakes what it takes so that the living gospel of Truth and Grace can be spread. I want to live a life that oozes the mercy and love of God. I want to live a life that quietly radiates the beauty that God has created within me.

I like when God gives me a new perspective...

What a Crappy day...

2006-03-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

Today just doesn't seem to be good... at all. It started off with an unusual early wake-up. I'm the type of person that is sure to get their 8 hours of sleep, but not today. I only got about 7, which is unfortunate after the long day I had at work last night. Then my laundry was taking forever to dry, causing me to leave late to meet Erin for lunch. And as I'm driving down the road, something happens to the car with the front axle... NOT GOOD! So I wait around for "Tommy" the tow-truck driver for almost an hour. I finally make it up to Houlihan's to meet Erin. Then we parted ways and all shopping attempts for a new shirt failed miserably. I'm now at the Coffeehouse where I forgot is extremely loud and busy with all the students after school. SO my entire schedule was thrown off by 2 hours But.....

I guess I do have something to look forward to. Tonight I am speaking at the annual Girls' Night Out for the 8th grade girls at Moon. This will be my 3rd year speaking on dating and relationships. I mean, let's be honest, am I the best person to give them advice? Probably not since my dating life is severly lacking. But do I have some sort of wisdom to share with them? Hecks yes I do! So hopefully that'll help me feel like today was a total day o'crap.

So I will sit here, listen to The Rocket Summer, drink my non-fat Mocha Latte, and try to relax for a few moments before I step back into craziness. The Rocket summer has become one of my favorite artists to listen to on a daily basis. It makes me happy, contemplative, and feeling relaxed. I suggest you check him out.

Other news on the forefront: I'm still waiting to hear any update from the church in Texas. After they returned from their Mexico Mission trip, the youth pastor has attempted to get ahold of my references... which all have insane schedules. So imagine how that is going... it's not furthering too far thus far. So hopefully I'll know early next week... THE SUSPENSE! I know, friend... it's killing me too.

I've been on this search of sorts lately. I've just been searching for God's voice. I've sought it in the noise and in the stillness... and I still hear nothing. How can I hear nothing? There's gotta be a roadblock... something else consuming my mind. I think I just want to hear God say certain things to me so He decided to keep quiet and let me realize that's it's not about me and I cannot do it on my own. Man, is it tough to give God control. But at least He'll show us when we're being selfish. I think I'm being selfish right now.

God, give me a servant's heart. I want to know You and love You more, so move the roadblocks. Give me the strength to move them. I want to serve.

"Any minute now
My ship is coming in
I keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow
And feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down... on me

And you say Be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my life to begin"
- Waiting For My Life by Colin Hay

A Lesson in Patience

2006-03-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've ever lived in this type of "waiting" mentality before. Who wants to wait?.... honestly! It is in no way fun or a dramatic build-up. It just makes time feel like it's moving 10 times slower than it really is and allows you to have all the time in the world to sit and ponder what you are waiting for.

Right now, I am awaiting the news of another interview with a church in Austin, TX. I wouldn't mind so much if we weren't going on a month and a half of interviews. Now, as each day goes by, I am tormented by the thought of where I could be in a few months or if I'm really going to be stuck at crappy Bob Evans even longer than I would've ever planned for. All that has been going on in my mind for the past month and a half is "What if I get it?... What if I don't?"

It's been a good experience though. I'm sure God gets a little chuckle when He sees me pacing back and forth asking Him to do something... anything... with it all. But I don't think I've ever looked at Him and trusted Him this much with my future before. I reached a point the other day of simply loving God for His mystery. I've been in that place before... I like being in that place. It takes the focus off me and puts it back on His majesty. I love living through His love...

May God be glorified through my words, actions, thoughts, responses, and all that comes with each breath I take. God is just so awesome.

If you have any tips on patience, feel free to let me know about it!

What a "not so good friend" looks like...

2006-02-26T21:08:00.000-08:00

Being a friend is harder for some than it is for others. Some people have this natural ability to stay connected with people without seeing them or speaking to them on a regular basis. They remember the little details about who you are and the things you say. And they're the people you know pray for you on a semi-regular basis even when you haven't spoken to them in months or years...

I realized I 'm not a good friend. I am horrible at returning phone calls or sending out an email. If people are not in my direct daily contact, I suck at keeping track of where they are. It's not that the people I've met and have bonded with aren't important to me. I think about them all the time. I just hate talking on the phone. And I don't like to sit and type long emails either. I am simply a "face-to-face" person. I love sitting in a room with someone. I love chatting over a meal. I love being able to turn my phone off because I am spending time with the people I love. I am a "not so good friend".

So how do we correct this problem? How do we reach the point where I don't want to chuck my phone out the window everytime someone calls? How strategic should I be in calling someone or shooting them an email to say, "I miss you, I love you, and I'm praying for you." Nothing is holding me back... I should do it... I think I will...

It's time to be a good friend :)

Laziness has reached a new high...

2005-12-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

I realize it's been almost a month since my last post... and I wish I had some clever, witty thing to say like, "I've been so busy traveling around," or, "I've been working like a crazy woman and helping out with so much stuff"... unfortunately that's not the case. The real reason why I haven't written is because my desk chair got moved and I've been too lazy to move it back into my room... how pathetic, I know.

The past few weeks haven't held a whole lot of anything in my life. As much as I would like to have some great, funny stories that would only happen in my life. Work has not been the funnest lately. For how busy the resturant was earlier in the fall, as we transition into winter, less people are walking through the door into the wonderful land of Bob Evans. Things are getting more awkward since I've become more involved with hanging out with my co-workers. God has allowed for some awesome conversations to happen, so I'm hoping that I am listening to Him and stepping up to the plate whenever convo opportunities arise. I am continuing to experience new things.... things I've forgotten about because the church has blinded me to so much of today's culture... so I must admit I like not working in the church right now.

The job in FL seems to have not taken off at all, which is so unfortunate. It really was my dream job.... it was something I thought would fit me so perfectly... but I guess God has something else in store for me. I will be filling out my application for this 2 year internship for a camp out in CA.... it's actually where our middle school students would go to summer camp when I worked out there. I would love to be so cloase to my church out there again... to be with my students, be around the Project over the summers, and see all my awesome friends out there.

Please just pray for my sanity at work... pray that I continue to grow out of this spiritual funk I keep falling in to, and pray that I remember to hold out for God's best when it comes to relationships... no compromise.

Goodnight and God bless

After Eve came.... Me

2005-11-07T21:05:00.000-08:00

Good evening faithful readers and dear friends. This past week has been filled with a lot of stressing and hating work as well as reconnecting with God and seeing Him laying down some new steeping stones for my life.

Last Wednesday proved to be an exhilirating day around lunch time. I got a phone call from a youth pastor in Florida that I've been connecting with. I had a sort of "job interview" with him and it seemed to have gone really well. We decided to take a week and continue to pray about it... and if it still seems to be something to pursue, they'll fly me down for a 4 day interview... or as I know it to be a lil' bit of vacation from Bob Evans.

Thursday was a torturous day for me... on more than one occassion I stopped and thought, "I hate my life." I rushes to do laundry and pack for the weekend before going to work. And then I get to work and the entire night was beyond chaotic, causing me to not leave work until 9:30.... over an hour from my usual time I leave "Hell". And to top it off, there was a major spillage of milk that I had to clean up (and it took friggin' forever). So Deb and I didn't get on the road until 10pm... but fortunately we made it down to VA and in our hotel room before 3am!

The After Eve conference was absolutely amazing. It wasn't that I had these total epiphanies from what the speakers talked about or that the worship was so amazing that I went int oconvulsions or anything... but it was more of God's whispers that I finally was able to hear. More wounds were unveiled to me and God's healing power is starting to work on those. It was such a wake-up call though... for the past year, I thought I had dealt with the crap in my life... but after this weekend, I saw that I was just looking at the future the way things have happened in the past... and it has continued to make for damaging situations that leave another wound. So I'm open and willing to let God do what He needs to do with my heart and my mind.

So after returning home, I went to Hot Metal for church and got a $55 parking ticket in the SouthSide, worked and hated life a little more, then spent somet ime at home doing laundry... way too much laundry....

A lil' bit of Howie Day...

2005-11-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to Howie Day a lot lately. I don't know quite what the sudden attraction has become.... maybe it's because I catch short clips of "Perfect Time of Day" playing over the speakers at work.... maybe it's because his lyrics have suddenly become a little more truthful in my personal life. There's one specific song that has quickly become my anthem... I sing it to myself when I notive my thoughts are "off track"... it's from the song "She Says." The lyrics say this: "And when she says she wants somebody else I hope you know she doesn't mean you... And when she says she wants someone to love I hope you know she doesn't mean you." I am having to remind myself that when I want to love someone, he is not the one... I don't want to keep thinking of him the way I do because there is really nothing there....

Isn't it weird the way we heal and recover from situations we go through in life? There is not one thing that we do in our lives that doesn't affect us. My actions have left a lot of wounds on my heart... and instead of turning to God, I often turn to someone else.... someone I can feel, see, talk with, and simply interact with. Unfortunately those situations then cause bigger wounds, more of a mess, and leave me back on my knees wondering what the hell just happened. When will I learn.... when will I really understand God's healing power.... when will I understand His love fully and stop wondering what the hell I'm doing to my life?

Deb and I are preparing for our trip to VA for the After Eve conference (www.aftereve.org)... I am simply praying for God to take all the bitterness out of my heart so that I may be open and willing to listen to whatever He wants to say to me. I have just grown so bitter towards life. I love the Lord, don't get me wrong. But I have just been a bit bitter... I guess more angry at myself. I wonder why God isn't close to me anymore eventhough He is EVERYWHERE! I don't know if work is just jucking right now... or the fact I feel that my managers hate me.... or if I seem to lack integrity as each day goes by and I'm just pissed at myself.... but something is wrong with me.... GOD, HEAL ME... DRAW NEAR...

Alright, I'm going to cuddle with my cat and watch Family Guy... goodnight

Interviews, Work, and Poking Out My Eye

2005-10-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

Last night was horrible... it made me hate waitressing a million times more. As much as I don't mind working at the infamous BE and as much as I enjoy hanging out with people that I don't know from church, I simply don't like working there. In some strange string of events, I ended up leaving work later than one of the other servers who was closing the store... now someone explain that one to me. Anyway, it was irritating and I went home angry. I woke up this morning with a bad taste in my mouth (other than the normal morning breath)... and now I have to leave in an hour to go back to work. As much as I like having money, I hate having a job sometimes...

Anyway, "The Week" is approaching quickly. This upcoming week will be one filled with insight into job opportunities. My interview with Sharon Pres. went well, but I'm not totally sure it's what I am looking for.... but I'll be hearing back from them this week. Also, I should hopefully be getting an email from Jesse down in West Palm Beach about furthering the process for a position down there... which is something I am HIGHLY interested in.

In other news, I'm hopefully heading to this young women conference in VA with Deb called After Eve (www.aftereve.org) next weekend. It's pretty cheap and I can hopefully talk my manager into letting me have the weekend off. I just have struggled so much with fellowship since I've been home. I miss having awesome women to talk with... I miss having godly men encouraging me and simply being my brothers. So, I'm hoping that this conference will be a sort of recharge for me.

So the rest of this weekend will consist of work, church, "wedding picture party" at my cousin's, work meeting, and Desperate Housewives. :)

God loves you

2005-09-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well, with no more pictures from the summer to post, you can continue reading about my life at www.xanga.com/LoveofLife21 ..... so come read my thoughts, leave me some love, or just ignore the whole thing :)

2005-08-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

f you ask me, Sean looks like a scary oompa loompa here. This particular day, his shirt smelt like B.O... so he chose this baby blue girl hoodie to wear instead... yes, he's weird

2005-08-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

We had a Luau one night... and it was loads of fun... just notice who IS wearing the grass skirts :)

2005-08-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

BIRTHDAY IMMUNITY!... Matt Jo's birthday was spent playing mini golf and having golf club duels... it was a good time

2005-08-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here's me in my cute 'lil vehicle, The Cabrio

2005-08-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

Evan's picking my nose and I'm picking Paul's nose... we did it just for the picture.... we don't really just sit around and pick eachother's noses.... or do we?

2005-08-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

The encouragment yarn... so awesome to do on our last Mon. night dinner

2005-08-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

Another shot of the bottom of Vernal Falls... the rainbow that appears has yet to fail me... it's always there when the sun is out even a bit.

2005-08-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

Here we are at our plot of dirt (a.k.a our campsite) setting up our Mansion for Debra and I to sleep in. And if you look closely, you can see our bathroom in the background.

2005-08-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

This is the sight from Emerald Pool which is the pool that connects Nevada Falls (which is above Vernal) and Vernal Falls... no swimming was allowed because there was still so much waterflow happening.

2005-08-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

This is the sight from the top of Vernal Falls... in the bottom right corner is the waterfall... yea, I hiked alongside that as far as you can probably see!

2005-08-10T17:02:00.000-07:00

The beauty of the bottom of Vernal Falls... completely breathtaking

2005-08-10T17:01:00.000-07:00

This was above our heads as we hiked up to Vernal Falls in Yosemite

2005-08-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

2nd Year Leadership Team: Kyle, Josh Beck, Debra, and Me (missing from this photo is Matt Jo)

2005-08-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

This is Izzy... the puppy that wakes me up every morning and cuddles with me when everyone else is awake but me.

2005-07-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Lauren and I... she makes me laugh way too hard! She's such an awesome intern... and weird lil' fact: she visited Geneva College because she was thinking of going there! Weirdness that on several ocassions, we've been like 10 minutes from one another!

2005-07-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

Here's some of our awesome high school students playing human bowling... well pretending at least :)

2005-07-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

This is my new friend, Tina. I was on the phone with Jenna while walking tot he beach and all of a sudden, I turned my head to find this llama staring at me... kinda weird.

2005-07-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

From my "Alone Day" at Half Moon Bay

2005-06-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

The waves keep rollin' in...

2005-06-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

The tide coming in... so awesome

2005-06-20T13:43:00.001-07:00

This is one small beauty from Sausalito along the main road

2005-06-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

The whole gang (minus Matt Jo and his broken foot) on the Golden Gate Bridge accompanied by some kid whose dad was taking the picture :) All I remember is they were from Delaware

2005-06-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the sunset behind the pier at Pacifica Beach... beyond words